Swedish Chocolate

So *James is dating a guy now and *Tyler has a girlfriend. Funny. Both of them liked me but *James didn't think I liked him back and *Tyler liked the other girl more than me so that's all I have to say about those two. Quietly stewing.

Swedish Chocolate Mocha

 It doesn't matter anymore though because I've fallen head over heels. Literally I tripped in front of him in my new Manolo Blahniks. I don't think he noticed though. So he is also part of the drum line with *Mr. Player so obviously I also had my eyes set on him but he's a sophomore and I'm a junior so I figured he probably wouldn't be into that. Younger guys never go for older girls. They'll like and admire the older girl but they'll never actually approach said "older girl." So at the time I kind of ruled him out as a possible contender (boyfriend, just for clarification.) I'm not sure I can describe him that well. I'm bad with character description. Which is why I'll never probably be able to produce anything other than blog posts and newspaper columns but I'll try my best. He has red hair which is brighter on some days than others but usually darker. He has these amazing eyes that I would say are usually blue but depending on what he's wearing can also have a tint of green. He obviously is dotted with freckles because I'm a sucker for gingers. He is tall, skinny, and kind of awkward. He has musical ability that amazes me. He plays guitar, some piano, basically any type of percussion instrument (in marching band it's bass, I'm still in awe at his ability to carry it, he's so delicately built,) and saxaphone. He has won awards for his talent. Good thing I'm slightly talented at music.
Anyway, since my two targets were dating other people and they were also the only people I talked too except my gay best friend, *Alex, I needed someone to keep me busy on my long car trip to (Random big city.) *Alex had been talking to umm *Swedish Chocolate (I will explain the name later, he is SC for now) and so I took that has my opportunity. I told him I was going to steal his number from *Alex and he smiled and told me it was totally fine.
After that it was just talking. Everything went pretty great. He told me that he would have talked to me sooner but he was too shy because I was really pretty (AHHHHH!). We talked for hours everyday and we asked each other random questions. I learned a lot about him including the fact that he had a girlfriend. It was kind of difficult to learn that information since I already kind of liked him but I figured he would be a good friend to keep around and I could find someone else. I didn't really know how much I liked him at that point though. We began to talk to each other more at school and during a band concert outdoors he held my hand. His fingers were turning purple which I suppose was his justification for wanting to hold my hand. Later that week though we had an indoor concert in which we held hands just to hold hands. My heart was beating out of my chest, I was biting my lip so I wouldn't say anything stupid, there was a lump in my throat, and I pray his hand was the one that was slightly moist. (I also took his sweater for a week)
He texted me that night that he didn't get to see his girlfriend often and that it was just nice to hold my hand but he didn't want me to read too much into it. He was simply holding my hand and nothing more. He texted *Alex something different. He told *Alex that he liked me but he had a girlfriend and didn't exactly know what to do. I supposed it was natural. His girlfriend was a cute cheerleader who wanted to date him and I was an intimidating, upperclassman who gave mixed messages. I sulked for the next week which annoyed the hell out of most of my friends because apparently, "at least he likes you," was supposed to be enough to make me happy. *James and *Tyler also liked me.
I still talked to him. I couldn't pull myself away from him, his smile, his laugh. I bought him Swedish Chocolate because he speaks Swedish. He complimented me, worried about me, and when he hugged me I would melt. I knew I was just getting myself deeper into a hole but I really didn't care.
One night after band I saw his girlfriend outside. She has just finished cheerleading. He walked down the cement stairs to me and not her. I told him I saw his girlfriend and I pointed in her direction and he said that he would see her another time. I rolled my eyes and accused him of having a weird relationship. He smiled and nodded.
We hung out last Friday. We bantered about the usual things: gun control (not exactly sure why,) skiing, his rival saxaphone player, busses being romantic, jazz music, etc. when I decided to ask him about his awkward relationship with his girlfriend. She wouldn't go to his jazz performance that night and I asked why (I attended for the record.) He replied that she didn't want to. She wasn't busy, she just didn't want to. I rolled my eyes again. "Do you two ever do anything?"
"I ask her but she always says no."
"How long have you two dated?"
"4 months and she hasn't even met my parents."
"What are her goals?"
"Umm I'm not sure."
"What's her guilty pleasure?"
"Umm not sure."
"What's her middle name?"
There was no answer. He flushed red and admitted to not being happy in his relationship. "Then what are you doing?" I asked. We finished our coffee in my favorite coffee shop. It has jazz nights on Friday and Saturday so we agreed to make every other Friday jazz and coffee night. I complimented his smile and he did that really cute guy thing where they turn away and try to hide it but you can seem them turn pink and the corners of their mouth turn up. We laughed and continued to share more life stories until he had to leave.
That night he texted me that he broke up with her. I wanted to jump and scream and laugh and smile but I didn't. OKAY so I did do that stuff. Today he told *Alex that he liked me but wanted to wait until the right moment to tell me. I know dating a guy fresh out of a relationship is always bad news but something about it feels so right. I'm going to (Different Random Big City) with him on Saturday. We will be taking a bus, visiting the art museum, and eating foods from all different countries at the Global Market <3 This will be our unofficial first date. Wish me luck.

Busted Toes and Broken Hearts

A lot of you have probably already enjoyed your homecoming. I enjoyed mine as well. Although I can't help wishing it turned out a little different. In general the night was really amazing. We started out taking pictures and I didn't look like a total idiot. Everyone liked the dress I bought for $5 at the Salvation Army and I even got compliments from people I didn't know who happened to be taking pictures in the same place. We went bowling, played laser tag (14th place out of 15 aha), and I was even reunited with one of the guys who went on the Guatemala trip with me. Dancing was really fun and the after party that my date and I had was great although if I would have known that he wasn't into me I probably wouldn't have invited him into my house afterwards and we would have went to an actual party.

Rose infused water
Get it? Rose colored lenses?
It was hard to find a drink that worked with this post.

Yes, this is what I'm distressed about. I really liked my date. We'll call him *James. *James is one of the nicest people I've ever met which happens to be a bad thing in this case. I must have mistaken his general kindness for flirting. Halfway through the dance a few other people started dancing with him and I laughed. I was thinking that they might like him but he isn't interested. I was thinking that we were going to go back to my place and he would tell me that he liked me. He kept trying to make me admit it all night which I also happened to mistake for flirting. *Tyler wasn't wearing the rose colored lenses that I had on apparently and realized that *James wanted to be dancing with those other people. He walked right over to *James and told him to go dance with me. It happened again that I was separated from *James but I was having fun dancing with *Tyler so I ignored it. *Tyler bought me a drink and before I left we exchanged numbers. I didn't even notice that this super attractive male was buying me a drink and wanting to keep in touch with me. All I could think about was how I couldn't wait to have *James all to myself. We went back to my place. *Tyler tried to text me but I ignored them. *James and I ran around Cub bare foot piling food into our cart. We laughed as we slid on the tile, and we mocked the faces of the surprised looks of the other customers who were shopping. We watched Mean Girls together and told each other secrets. He let me lay on him. He kept me warm. He didn't kiss me before he left, but I didn't notice because his hug was enough for me. I figured he had gotten nervous and we'd talk about our relationship some other time. The next day he told me he started seeing someone. Us being really close friends and all he told me as soon as it happened. I texted short replies and he knew something was up. He fell asleep during our awkward texting and hasn't talked to me since. I smile and wave at him during school but we have no classes so there is no chance of further communication.
He talked to me about *Tyler. He tried to convince me that I should go out with him. *Tyler is a great guy but I know nothing about him and he isn't *James. *Tyler is also a typical TGFY (to good for you.) Basically a guy who has so many girls on him that he gets to have his pick. A nerdy, blog writer isn't exactly a first pick. We're friends because he's pretty interesting but nothing will go beyond that. I'm interested but not crushing if that makes sense.
Anyway that was my story. I also busted up my toe dancing in heels the whole night. Yay. My feet hurt and that stupid corsage that *James told me to keep is looking at me. It's still beautiful even though the petals are beginning to curl and fall off. Good day to you all.

Lemon Juice, Ukranian Boys, and Mr. Player

Well instead of doing my homework I'm procrastinating. I just need to get my feelings out I suppose. I'm sitting at work and my stomach is making really weird noises (lemon juice diet) and the woman working next to me keeps grimacing. Oops. Mr. Player is completely out of my life. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't let him play me while he had a girlfriend. It just isn't fair to her. So now his ego is even bigger but it's whatever. He'll get played by someone eventually. My homecoming date is a sweetie and we're going to take wonderful pictures which I will post on Facebook and bother the hell out of Mr. Player. I've also been wearing a mix between pretty and modestly sexy dresses to school and I catch him glancing at me. I want to tell his girlfriend about what happened but I figure that it isn't really my business and she should know her boyfriend is a player and a pervert by now. He chose her over me because I wouldn't put out. She needs to learn a little lesson on life. He's also flirting with *Bridget again so yeah. Oh well! It wasn't a total loss. He introduced me to my new favorite band! Little Comets forever.

Lemon Infused Water

I have chair auditions in band tomorrow and I pretty much know I'll get 3rd to last chair which annoys me. My instructor put me in second chair (dream) and now I'm going to get moved down. He knows I'm not as good as everyone else yet he's taunting me with this second chair spot. I have a new crush and his name, *Aleksandr. He's Ukrainian, very attractive, and that's all I know but he's getting my focus off of Mr. Player. I just need to figure out how to talk to him without totally being awkward.
My frienimie  asked me how to approach a guy! That means she respects my craft! Be on the look out for a future blog post called, "The Girl's Guide To: Getting Guys." This will contain all the wonderful information that you need to know about getting a guy. I will have one about dating, playing, etc. too. Infact I'm thinking about writing a novel based on my blog called, "The Girl's Guide."
Not much to say today. Lots of homework to do. Love you all.

Playing Mr. Player

Expensive Turtle Mochas

Guess who just finished her summer homework!? ME! Just a few days shy of the first day of school but I finished and that's all that matters. Anyway I have an update about *Eric. He likes me. Like a lot. He's perfect. He likes all of the same music I do. He is an amazing drummer. He's really attractive and I'm a sucker for guys with curls. He's really sweet. There's only one problem. He's the biggest player ever. He is said to have done this to every girl in our school who is above a 6 which apparently includes me. I was drawn in at first, I'll admit. Attractive, talented, smart (YES! SMART!) guys don't usually like me. Tons of people have told me what he's like well yeah. If he thinks he can play me he is sadly mistaken. *Jamie did that to me and I won't let it happen again. I don't want him to do it again though so I have a plan. I'm going to play him. How? Um well I'm not sure yet! I will play him just like he's played so many other innocent girls. He'll never see it coming. Hopefully after I'm done teaching him a lesson he'll realize how stupid he's being and how much it actually hurts to be played. Although if he doesn't I will have still have knocked his ego down a few pegs which is enough for me.

A few days ago he wanted me to come visit him at work and that he had a surprise for me. I told him that if I had time I would see if I felt like it. So I walked into the coffee shop he worked at with another guy. HA! Anyway I ended up ordering the most expensive thing on the board and it turns out his surprise was buying me my drink. Happy coincidence I guess. My friend left and he and I talked for awhile. Not about anything important. He just told me how pretty I looked and my stupid face turned bright red.

Two days ago I sent him a picture of me in a really formal dress, with my hair done up and everything. I told him I was going downtown with a friend who was taking me to a really fancy restaurant! I asked him if he thought it was too much! HA! The whole night he was texting me. He was telling me that he was jealous and was hoping nothing was going on. I didn't text him till 10 even though I got home at 8, just to put him on edge. I told him I was watching a movie with another male friend of mine and after he texted me a whole lecture on how I was purposely trying to make him jealous I told him the friend I was with was gay to make him feel like a total idiot. 

There is more updates on this story coming. Wish me luck! I'll probably get my stupid self heartbroken but there is the chance that I won't. I guess we'll see what happens and until then I'll keep playing Mr. Player. School starts soon. I'll try to keep blogging but be warned that I'll be distant and I'll post more comments on my google+ page. Like little instant updates that are urgent but I don't have time to blog. 

Toilets and Mission Trips

Sorry about my lack of blogging. Everything has been quite hectic with getting home and all. I can't even tell you how hard it has been to adjust back. I keep wanting to throw my toilet paper in the garbage can. My internals are still adjusting to the foods of home. I literally sat on the toilet the first day home. Everything went fine except the first night when we were swimming I jumped into the shallow end of the pool and got a soft tissue injury. That was fun walking around with that. I had to limp everywhere and when I got back I wasn't able to walk on my foot for ten days. I however saw the doctors order as merely a suggestion and walked anytime my mother and brother weren't around to scold me. The trip was great though. I guess I should start from the beginning:
The People excluding the leaders:

Surviving on Peanut Butter
(Wishing it was in Mocha form)

• Me!
• *Cindy- my best friend
• *Lindy- the flirt
• *Angel- the princess
• *Amy- the girl who is good at everything
• *Dina- the tomboy
• *Tina- the lover
• *Melissa- the quiet one
• *Dajia- the girl with the long arms
• *Tilly- room mate 
• *Jessie- the know it all
• *Michaela- missionary kid 
• *Ross, *Randy and *Rick- the average guys (the clones)
• *Allen- the guy who's nice to everyone
• *Dane- the oddball 
• *Ian- the dream guy
• *Troy- the former football star
• *Joey- the male know it all
• *Justin- the hugger 

We all surprisingly meshed well together. Except *Tilly hated *Lindy because *Lindy kept flirting with Ian. *Angel and *Randy also got in a fight. I started getting annoyed at *Jessie. Other than that everything went well. Oh except we had pancakes every morning... That may sound good until you get to the third day and realize why normal people don't eat pancakes every morning. I'm pretty sure one of the reasons everyone started to get sick was because of all those dang pancakes. *Randy described the sickness as "peeing out of his butt." Which made the rest of us sick to our stomachs. *Dane had to end up skipping zip lining because he got so sick. Some people just ate peanut butter the rest of the trip. If I didn't feel so bad about not eating I would have said screw it and survived the last few days on protein bars and trail mix. Aside from the zip lining, swimming in the pool, swimming in the ocean, shopping, and drinking freshly squeezed watermelon juice for breakfast, we actually did do some good in the villages. We helped out with Vacation Bible School, brought food to families in need and prayed for the people. Some people don't really understand mission trips. They think that we are going there and forcing our religion down peoples' throats. One of these people who thinks that is my mother. Performing skits and laying our hand on people's shoulders while we say random words into the sky may seem like nothing to some people but the people there loved what we did. They were brought to tears, they thanked us, they hugged us. Not to sound all preachy but they taught me something too. The message is a little hard to explain unless you experience it first hand so in more simple terms: Remember to slow down and smile. On the trip we had to learn the phrase, "Just the way I like  it," because well, it was a saying that we had to say a lot. From the cockroaches in the showers, the yellowy whitish brown sheets, and the lizards in our comforters to the geese enclosure right outside our rooms, that saying helped us through it all. Thank goodness it was beautiful there because otherwise the wildlife would have prevented me from coming at all. There was a three legged, one eyed, cat monkey that just roamed around in the hotel lobby! I'm pretty sure we all brought home some kind of species. It's hard to talk about it now that I'm home. It seemed like it went by so fast. I think I'm going to take another trip but this time longer. I'll go to Africa on a medical trip or something. Then I can write a novel about it. I just want to write a novel. I figure that it doesn't matter how suckish my life gets as long as I can turn it into a novel some day.

I'll post more later. I just wanted you to have a little update on my whereabouts. Missed you all. My next post will be about my struggling love life. YAY! Not really. 

Bon Voyage!!

Thank goodness all airports have Starbucks

Tomorrow at 4 am I am leaving for the airport to (insert name of Latin Country here!) So nervous! A whole week without internet, phone service and my love. Yes, I am in love. All consuming, heart pounding, skin tingling, hand sweaty love and he has a girlfriend. I don't think that it's fair. All the guys I am into have girlfriends. This guy and his girlfriend have a ton of good moments and they're really cute together but they have so many unresolved issues. Watching them makes me cringe. Last night at my friend's bonfire there were no single guys except *Jesse and *Alex but they're gay sooo. All the couples were like all over eachother. Kissing and hugging. It made me feel really awkward and alone. I just someone I can hug and someone to dance with. Someone to make food with. Someone who will laugh at my stupid jokes and make even more stupid ones. Someone who will tolerate my love for horror movies and romantic comedies. Someone who will enjoy my over opinionated nature. Someone who I can text all the time. Someone I can call and talk on the phone for hours about absolutely nothing! Someone who wants to get out of the house and do things. Someone who will takes risks with me. Someone who will kidnap garden gnomes with me. (I'll explain that when I get home on August 11th.) I see all these couples and hear their stories and I want that. Yeah, being single is great but I want to secure a boyfriend. Guy friends can't always hang out with you. When they get girlfriends then their girlfriends hate you for hanging out with them so you feel obligated not to do things with them. I want to secure one man friend that I can always have to myself. Someone I can stargaze with, hold hands with, hug really, really tight.
I can't be thinking of love! I'm leaving! I'll miss you all! I can't wait to be helping people. It terrifies me that this time tomorrow I will be in another country, with all new customs, all new foods, all different people. I will keep a journal and post it when I get home. Sorry for the short blog post. Love you.

Apple Trees, Average Guys, And The Pool Boy

A perfect boy with a girlfriend is like an apple. The apple is beautiful, red, and ripe for the picking. No wormholes, no bruises. You're just about to take a bite of this wonderful apple and someone approaches you saying, "Don't eat that! It's covered in pesticides!" As I'm searching for a homecoming date it seems as though all the good guys are taken. Infact I have to spend this Saturday with one of these guys and their girlfriend. Yay. Even people who are super obnoxious and annoying have boyfriends/girlfriends. I suppose to other people I may be annoying too. While I'm searching for a guys who's not annoying should I really be searching for someone who is equally annoying?

Caramel Apple Mocha
(Perfect and totally single)

Why are only popular guys attractive? Why can't for once there actually be a sexy loner who's really smart? Like in the movies. Anytime I'm searching facebook I see all these attractive guys but then I read their facebook posts and I learn a whole bunch of vulgar terms that I've never even heard of before! I've never once walked into my honors classes and said, "Wow, he's good looking." I'm involved in the geekiest clubs at my school so even if I wanted to I don't really have a chance at meeting some vulgar, hot, probably hormonal teenage boy. SO I get to pick from: non attractive, really intelligent and most likely harboring some secret talent for music or some very attractive, (I don't like to use the word stupid but it's the only one that fits) stupid, with some talent for a sport. Why can't I have a semi attractive male, with average intelligence, who actually gets off the computer once in awhile and has at least a liking for music?
I realize I ask a lot more questions than I answer and I apologize. Although no one usually comes to me for advice. They oddly enough just like to listen to my ranting. I've been told that my voice impressions are very entertaining. If someone ever asks me for advice they usually don't want advice they just want me to make them laugh and feel better about their situation.
Does anyone else have those friends where you're trying to like vent all your anger out and they make it about themselves but in a really obvious way? "I've been really down lately about my whole situation with my dad and everything."
"Well my boyfriend implied that I looked fat!"
Anyone have those friends? Am I the only one? Or how about those people that talk to you really slow. "Hiiiiiiiii myyyyyyy naaaaaammmmmeeee issssss *JEN-NA. Diiiiiiiiiiiiid you unnnnnndeerrstand what the teeeachhher wasssss taaaaaallllking abbbbbouttttt?" I'm a blonde not an idiot. I can't decide if they do that to me because I'm blonde or because they think I don't understand English since I choose not to talk to them on any occasion that I don't have too. Why must popular people assume everyone likes them and if you don't like them you're obviously a freak, weirdo, or loner?
I'm trying to hurry with this blog post because the apple I like may be working at the pool today and I don't want to miss him.
My trip to (Insert name of Latin Country here) is coming up soon and all I can think about is the cute way I've devised to ask a boy to homecoming but all the guys I like (including pool boy) are apples. I would call him on the pay phone all romantic like and say, "I knew that the only way I'd be brave enough to ask you to homecoming was if I was more than 1000 miles away." I'm tempted to call one of them and just see what he says. Although their girlfriends may not be too happy with me. Although girls never are very happy with me when it comes to their boyfriends/crushes. I'm not sure what it is but I have a talent for ruining relationships. They really should be blaming the guy. I have a flirtatious personality. People keep telling me that it isn't hard to not be flirty but it is a personality trait and I can't help it. It's like if someone told a teenage boy to stop being hormonal or a comedian to stop being funny. Oh well. I hope it doesn't get me into too much trouble.
Well that's all for today. I need to shave and actually get ready for the day. However I have no where to go and nothing to do but a huge pile of summer homework but I figure me getting reading will put it off the inevitable. Sex And The City Is On today. How can I focus on homework?? This is so unfair! I also eventually have to practice trumpet and piano. Trumpet, piano, and summer homework, and I'm here judging other people's geekiness.