the Proper Woman's Guide to Dating

Obviously, as society we have forgotten what proper dating is. When a man opens the door for me, flashes a huge grin, and says, "See? Chivalry is not dead," I have to resist the urge not to roll my eyes back into my head. Pointing out chivalry is really annoying, Plus the same guy texted me when he got to my house instead of coming to my door. Here are general rules:

No kissing until the 3rd date (Unless of course it's New Year's Eve)

• While the wait sucks for both parties, kissing him may give him the wrong idea. The third date is when the secrets come out. If you still like him after you discover his weird quirks then you may kiss him. If you kiss him too soon then you risk him falling in love with you before you decide if you really like him or not. Waiting saves his feelings. 

No house dates until after the 5th date

• House dates might cause you to dress more casual than you should. Also house date means make out session. We all know it. This goes along the whole kissing line. You don't want to lead him on before you know you like him. Unnecessary broken hearts are no fun at all. Also you want him to get in the habit of making sure he is clean. House dates too soon promote sloppy behavior. The smell can be very gross if you do not wait long enough.

You must date for a minimum of 1 month before becoming official

• Dating other people while dating him encourages him to be on his best behavior. He knows he is competing. Do not rub this fact in his face, but make subtle hints occasionally. If you talk about other men then you will upset him. No man likes to be taken advantage of. He may not know that you really like him.

You should be granted access to his phone as he will have access to mine

• No man should accuse his girlfriend of thinking he is untrustworthy because she wants to see his phone. Sometimes we like to be reassured or we just want to look at your pictures. There is no reason for guys to get all upset if their girlfriend wants to see their phone. Please have the decency to pretend you don't look at porn. SO YES! If you want access to your man's phone then you better give him access to your's!  

Always dress as well as possible for the occasion 

Perfect for the rainy days <3

• If you don't dress nice then neither will he.

Rules for your man that if he is not following you should worry:

He must become friends with your gay best friend

• Friends in general. He doesn't have to be best friends in a sense, but he has to communicate with them. I do not want him being a stranger to my friends.

He must pay for dinner unless on special occasions such as his birthday

• Girls provide boobs and guys provide money for dinner. That's how it goes. It's like unspoken prostitution, but cleaner and with emotions...Okay, not my best analogy, but you get my point.

He should not be insulted if you ask him where he is going for the night (You am simply curious)

• There is no reason to get upset that I want to know where you are going unless you are doing something that I would not approve of. If you are doing something that you do not feel comfortable telling me about, then stop doing it. 

He must put in the effort to smell like a normal human.

He must come to your door. 

He must add you on all his social media sites.

To be 5 minutes late because he lost his way is one thing. Being a half hour late because he was slow is another. 

• Continuous tardiness should not be tolerated 

There are so many more rules. Dating is unfortunately a game, but the prize is love and that is worth fighting for. Remember that if you do not put in the effort then neither will he. Thank you for dropping by and remember playing people is wrong, unsafe sex can lead to bad things, kissing is not a crime, addiction to anything is unhealthy in its own way, children are huge responsibilities, tight dresses are not comfortable on your period, laundry must be done, wrinkle free shirts are the best investment, you should never leave the house without lip gloss, you will never regret keeping an extra pair of pants in your locker, too much salt causes bloating, you are your own person, Sex and the City is your guide to life, not everything happens for a reason but it will keep on happening anyway, no one book should dictate how you live your life, yourself in 5 years will be a combination of the people you meet and the books you read, feminism means equality, and you do not have to be artistic to do art. 

Never Been Kissed! (Sun-Kissed That Is)

Lemon Infused Water
(Infused water is my new obsession)

Pucker up, because this post is all about kissing! Of course I've been kissed before. However, my friend *Miranda and I were discussing kissing a lot today. In fact, now that I'm single I've been talking about kissing all the time. I've never tanned and since spring break just ended everyone came back showing off their tans. My skin was white as usual. Anyway, I figured that there's always room for knowledge on kissing. My male friends especially need help with this kissing concept. I'm going to use my past kisses to help give tips. What better way then to give you examples. First however, we need to talk about the serious parts of kissing. So here's the nasty stuff:
What can you contract from kissing?

• Colds- You probably already knew that you could get colds from other people. Many different viruses can cause colds. Just make sure that whoever you're kissing isn't sick. Runny noses and raspy coughs are really obnoxious. 
• Glandular Fever- This is literally known as the kissing disease. It's spread through saliva and causes infection on contact (ew) 
• Warts!- YES! Oral warts can be spread through kissing. This is more likely if the person has recently had warts. This is why kissing random guys at parties may not be the safest thing to do. You don't know him or his mouth history. 
• Herpes Infection- Basically viruses such as chicken pox and cold sores. Cold sores are reoccurring where as chicken pox are a one time thing. Cold sores can be spread even when they have already healed. Chicken pox will spread air borne as well soooo just avoid people who have it unless you've already had it (I'm still hiding from it)
• Hepatitis B- This is extremely rare to get, because the disease is passed through blood more than saliva, but don't kiss people who have open sores around their mouths unless you are completely sure that they have no history of disease.

This information on kissing was found from the Better Health Channel. Click the URL for more: http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Kissing_and_your_health?open 

Okay! Now we are done with the serious kissing stuff. Just avoid kissing sick people, get vaccinations, and know the nasty stuff. Now let's move on to my kissing experiences. I'm kind of an expert when it comes to kissing. 

• *Mitch- He was my first kiss, but it was in third grade so I can't really rate it. I was making faces at him an he turned around really fast.
• *Devon- Devon was my first boyfriend and my first intentional kiss. He had a really minty mouth and never went anywhere with out breath mints (+). His kisses were really spit filled though. He had really active saliva glands. Is that a thing? (-). His overall rating was a 6. Minty is good, too much saliva is bad!
• *Zig- There was no real good things about his kissing. He kept bumping my teeth. Rating is 5. Please know what your teeth are doing! Bumping teeth hurts!
• *Simon- He was a lip sucker. Not just one lip but both. He sucked both of my lips in his mouth. This is not okay. Rating is a 5. There is no contest to see how much of some one's lips you can fit in your mouth!
• *Tim- I don't remember how his kisses were. He had virgin lips so I know they were pretty bad. He also talked about how he could taste my last meal. Ew! Overall rate is a 5. I snacked on boxes of mints before he came over. He kept tasting his own meals. Clean your mouth before kissing! 
• *Leo- He had to throw up after kissing me and he kissed with his eyes open. Rating is a 4. Do not kiss someone if you are sick! Close your eyes! Kissing with your eyes open is so annoying!
• *Axel- I can't remember his kisses much. I can only remember that he hurt my back. He did this weird thing where he leaned over me until I almost fell over. Rating is 6. When kissing do not practice yoga! Thank you! 
• *Jim- Rate is 3. Do not suffocate people with your tongue! That's all I can say. Don't do it. Stop. Stop it now.
• Drew- He kissed me spontaneously without asking (+) There were no butterflies so unfortunately he only scores a 7.5. Kiss spontaneously sometimes!
• The Christian Boy- He was a new kisser. I think virgin kissers can either be really good or really bad, You can easily mold them into a good kisser. His rating was an 8.5. Being a virgin kisser is not a bad thing! Flaunt it! 
• The Nerd- Where to begin. He started slow (+). He licked my teeth (-). He attacked my face (-). He made awkward sucking sounds (-). There was too much saliva (-). He sucked my tongue (-). He bit my nose (-).  Rating is 1. Start slow and romantic! Do not involve teeth in your kissing unless you are lip biting! Do not eat your partner's face! Try to make as little mouth sounds as possible! Do not bite their nose! Unless they're into that. I don't judge. Make sure they do before you go ahead and do it thought. because it can be really awkward.
• The Romantic- He knew how to lip bite, but his nose always got in the way. I'm not sure if you can control the size of your nose. His rating is a 7.5. Always bite lip! Only the lower lip though!
• My Sailor- Talk about romantic movie kisses. Slow can be a plus, but when things get heated it's okay to go a little faster. His rating is a 9. Slow, calculate kisses with lip biting are really good! Keep pace!
• The Lifeguard- If you are taller than your partner you need to know how to adjust. They can't do anything. It's all on you. Also if you're going to be in the sun, use chap stick! His rating is 6. 
• Mr. Player- He had nice clean hair and a little bit of facial hair. I give him a 7.5. He wasn't the best kisser ever, and his lips were chapped. Rating is a 7. Clean your hair! A little stubble is sexy (Little tip to my very few male readers)! PLEASE, PLEASE WEAR CHAP STICK! (Not the medical type stuff. Use something with a minty flavor (guys) or a lip gloss (girls))
• The Gremlin- Too much hair gel and I couldn't run my fingers through his hair. His lips were soft though. His rating is an 8. There is such thing as too much gel! 

I hope my experience gives a little advice on how to properly kiss. Let's do a quick summary. Kissing can cause nasty stuff. Know who you are kissing. Practice oral hygiene. Do not involve teeth in kissing unless you are lip biting. Do not attack the person's face. Do not use an excessive amount of tongue. Move your hands a little bit. The more heated the more you can move. Know your partner's boundaries and your's so you know when to slow down a little bit. Close your eyes, relax, and enjoy. 

When Choosing Mr. Right

There are rumors that my sleazy ex boyfriend is getting dumped which serves him right. Today I'm going to be talking about guys. Yes, this is very surprising. Realized that there is no perfect guys in high school. I also have some experience with college guys, and let me just say that they aren't all that great either. I talked to this one guy who told me that is was totally reasonable that I was dumped because I accept homosexual marriage. How is this reasonable? Listened to sophomore boys talk about poop which was rather disturbing. Guys always blame girls for fishing for compliments when they are equally as guilty! I'm going out with this one guy who talks about all the nice stuff he does for girls. How about shutting up and actually carrying out your plans?
I'm also seeing 2 college students at the moment. 1 seems like a total fruitcake. Do guys usually tell you they're in love with your hair? Everything he says is a compliment. He wants to take me star gazing in his pickup. Can't get any more Tumble than that right there. He's also only 5 foot 6. Guess I'm leaving the heels at home. Going out to my favorite restaurant with him tomorrow. Praying everything goes well.
I have a date tonight with the other college boy. Although I'm not totally sure it's a date. He thinks I am too young for him which is hilarious because my IQ could eat the average college students' IQ for breakfast. Okay, so not really, but I am highly intelligent. He and I are going out to a concert tonight. No dinner though which irritates me slightly but I guess he's really trying to hammer in the whole "just friends" thing which is rather fine with me since I'm seeing 2 other guys right now.
Was just on TV so guess I'm doing pretty well for myself. One day I'll find someone who isn't intimidated by my brains, thinks that I'm beautiful, and doesn't act like a submissive puppy.
I am still in love with my ex. I know it's dumb since he broke my heart and he still doesn't want me back, but I never shut up about him. I'm always looking at him. Those dumb blue eyes of his, that red hair, those pink lips. I hate him for hurting me, but I guess we'll always want we cannot have. How do married couples work? Do they actually love each other or did they settle because they couldn't reach perfection? Will we all just end up settling for someone. In the end do betterflies really matter or should we really be searching for someone to care for us and treat us well. Someone who will take care of us when we're sick and keep us warm in bed at night. Are butterflies just stress sickness? Can there be love without that awkward turning sensation in our stomachs? Should we be searching for compatibility or for weak knees?
Your Love Sick Teenage Partner in Crime,
Shae Vin

Gremlins and Fish

Nothing soothes a broken heart
like a chocolate mocha 

So I dated Swedish Chocolate, yes, the man. It was great. We went on romantic outings, he kissed my forehead, he gave me cute nicknames, told me he loved me, yadda yadda. Then he broke up with me for another girl. He started dating her like 2 days after me. They post pictures on Facebook by the hour. Skipped school today because I'm so down about it. People keep saying how cute they are together and it makes me want to scream. I'm done dating musically talented, little shrimps, that I can pick up and throw. I want a man who acts like a man. I just wish I had a boyfriend that I could dangle in his face. I hate sitting around and moping while he's at school holding her hand. He never posted anything about us dating on Facebook but as soon as he starts dating her, he feels the need to tell the whole world. I hope she breaks his heart. I hope he breaks hers. I hope something bad happens so that they realize that their relationship is a bad idea. I'm really annoyed sorry for ranting. This is more of an update rather than an actual blog post. So the quest for love continues...again. I need to re work my list of requirements. Musical talent is coming off the list and athletic ability is going on. Going for the manly men now. New end of the spectrum. He also can't get winded from walking up the stairs. I want someone I can drag on hikes and trips to foreign countries.
OH YEAH, I ALMOST FORGOT! I'M GETTING INTERVIEWED FOR A NEWSPAPER!! SO TAKE THAT WORLD!! My Gremlin of an ex boyfriend can date that girl with the fish eyes all he wants! I have an interview! Whoop!

Swedish Chocolate

So *James is dating a guy now and *Tyler has a girlfriend. Funny. Both of them liked me but *James didn't think I liked him back and *Tyler liked the other girl more than me so that's all I have to say about those two. Quietly stewing.

Swedish Chocolate Mocha

 It doesn't matter anymore though because I've fallen head over heels. Literally I tripped in front of him in my new Manolo Blahniks. I don't think he noticed though. So he is also part of the drum line with *Mr. Player so obviously I also had my eyes set on him but he's a sophomore and I'm a junior so I figured he probably wouldn't be into that. Younger guys never go for older girls. They'll like and admire the older girl but they'll never actually approach said "older girl." So at the time I kind of ruled him out as a possible contender (boyfriend, just for clarification.) I'm not sure I can describe him that well. I'm bad with character description. Which is why I'll never probably be able to produce anything other than blog posts and newspaper columns but I'll try my best. He has red hair which is brighter on some days than others but usually darker. He has these amazing eyes that I would say are usually blue but depending on what he's wearing can also have a tint of green. He obviously is dotted with freckles because I'm a sucker for gingers. He is tall, skinny, and kind of awkward. He has musical ability that amazes me. He plays guitar, some piano, basically any type of percussion instrument (in marching band it's bass, I'm still in awe at his ability to carry it, he's so delicately built,) and saxaphone. He has won awards for his talent. Good thing I'm slightly talented at music.
Anyway, since my two targets were dating other people and they were also the only people I talked too except my gay best friend, *Alex, I needed someone to keep me busy on my long car trip to (Random big city.) *Alex had been talking to umm *Swedish Chocolate (I will explain the name later, he is SC for now) and so I took that has my opportunity. I told him I was going to steal his number from *Alex and he smiled and told me it was totally fine.
After that it was just talking. Everything went pretty great. He told me that he would have talked to me sooner but he was too shy because I was really pretty (AHHHHH!). We talked for hours everyday and we asked each other random questions. I learned a lot about him including the fact that he had a girlfriend. It was kind of difficult to learn that information since I already kind of liked him but I figured he would be a good friend to keep around and I could find someone else. I didn't really know how much I liked him at that point though. We began to talk to each other more at school and during a band concert outdoors he held my hand. His fingers were turning purple which I suppose was his justification for wanting to hold my hand. Later that week though we had an indoor concert in which we held hands just to hold hands. My heart was beating out of my chest, I was biting my lip so I wouldn't say anything stupid, there was a lump in my throat, and I pray his hand was the one that was slightly moist. (I also took his sweater for a week)
He texted me that night that he didn't get to see his girlfriend often and that it was just nice to hold my hand but he didn't want me to read too much into it. He was simply holding my hand and nothing more. He texted *Alex something different. He told *Alex that he liked me but he had a girlfriend and didn't exactly know what to do. I supposed it was natural. His girlfriend was a cute cheerleader who wanted to date him and I was an intimidating, upperclassman who gave mixed messages. I sulked for the next week which annoyed the hell out of most of my friends because apparently, "at least he likes you," was supposed to be enough to make me happy. *James and *Tyler also liked me.
I still talked to him. I couldn't pull myself away from him, his smile, his laugh. I bought him Swedish Chocolate because he speaks Swedish. He complimented me, worried about me, and when he hugged me I would melt. I knew I was just getting myself deeper into a hole but I really didn't care.
One night after band I saw his girlfriend outside. She has just finished cheerleading. He walked down the cement stairs to me and not her. I told him I saw his girlfriend and I pointed in her direction and he said that he would see her another time. I rolled my eyes and accused him of having a weird relationship. He smiled and nodded.
We hung out last Friday. We bantered about the usual things: gun control (not exactly sure why,) skiing, his rival saxaphone player, busses being romantic, jazz music, etc. when I decided to ask him about his awkward relationship with his girlfriend. She wouldn't go to his jazz performance that night and I asked why (I attended for the record.) He replied that she didn't want to. She wasn't busy, she just didn't want to. I rolled my eyes again. "Do you two ever do anything?"
"I ask her but she always says no."
"How long have you two dated?"
"4 months and she hasn't even met my parents."
"What are her goals?"
"Umm I'm not sure."
"What's her guilty pleasure?"
"Umm not sure."
"What's her middle name?"
There was no answer. He flushed red and admitted to not being happy in his relationship. "Then what are you doing?" I asked. We finished our coffee in my favorite coffee shop. It has jazz nights on Friday and Saturday so we agreed to make every other Friday jazz and coffee night. I complimented his smile and he did that really cute guy thing where they turn away and try to hide it but you can seem them turn pink and the corners of their mouth turn up. We laughed and continued to share more life stories until he had to leave.
That night he texted me that he broke up with her. I wanted to jump and scream and laugh and smile but I didn't. OKAY so I did do that stuff. Today he told *Alex that he liked me but wanted to wait until the right moment to tell me. I know dating a guy fresh out of a relationship is always bad news but something about it feels so right. I'm going to (Different Random Big City) with him on Saturday. We will be taking a bus, visiting the art museum, and eating foods from all different countries at the Global Market <3 This will be our unofficial first date. Wish me luck.

Busted Toes and Broken Hearts

A lot of you have probably already enjoyed your homecoming. I enjoyed mine as well. Although I can't help wishing it turned out a little different. In general the night was really amazing. We started out taking pictures and I didn't look like a total idiot. Everyone liked the dress I bought for $5 at the Salvation Army and I even got compliments from people I didn't know who happened to be taking pictures in the same place. We went bowling, played laser tag (14th place out of 15 aha), and I was even reunited with one of the guys who went on the Guatemala trip with me. Dancing was really fun and the after party that my date and I had was great although if I would have known that he wasn't into me I probably wouldn't have invited him into my house afterwards and we would have went to an actual party.

Rose infused water
Get it? Rose colored lenses?
It was hard to find a drink that worked with this post.

Yes, this is what I'm distressed about. I really liked my date. We'll call him *James. *James is one of the nicest people I've ever met which happens to be a bad thing in this case. I must have mistaken his general kindness for flirting. Halfway through the dance a few other people started dancing with him and I laughed. I was thinking that they might like him but he isn't interested. I was thinking that we were going to go back to my place and he would tell me that he liked me. He kept trying to make me admit it all night which I also happened to mistake for flirting. *Tyler wasn't wearing the rose colored lenses that I had on apparently and realized that *James wanted to be dancing with those other people. He walked right over to *James and told him to go dance with me. It happened again that I was separated from *James but I was having fun dancing with *Tyler so I ignored it. *Tyler bought me a drink and before I left we exchanged numbers. I didn't even notice that this super attractive male was buying me a drink and wanting to keep in touch with me. All I could think about was how I couldn't wait to have *James all to myself. We went back to my place. *Tyler tried to text me but I ignored them. *James and I ran around Cub bare foot piling food into our cart. We laughed as we slid on the tile, and we mocked the faces of the surprised looks of the other customers who were shopping. We watched Mean Girls together and told each other secrets. He let me lay on him. He kept me warm. He didn't kiss me before he left, but I didn't notice because his hug was enough for me. I figured he had gotten nervous and we'd talk about our relationship some other time. The next day he told me he started seeing someone. Us being really close friends and all he told me as soon as it happened. I texted short replies and he knew something was up. He fell asleep during our awkward texting and hasn't talked to me since. I smile and wave at him during school but we have no classes so there is no chance of further communication.
He talked to me about *Tyler. He tried to convince me that I should go out with him. *Tyler is a great guy but I know nothing about him and he isn't *James. *Tyler is also a typical TGFY (to good for you.) Basically a guy who has so many girls on him that he gets to have his pick. A nerdy, blog writer isn't exactly a first pick. We're friends because he's pretty interesting but nothing will go beyond that. I'm interested but not crushing if that makes sense.
Anyway that was my story. I also busted up my toe dancing in heels the whole night. Yay. My feet hurt and that stupid corsage that *James told me to keep is looking at me. It's still beautiful even though the petals are beginning to curl and fall off. Good day to you all.

Lemon Juice, Ukranian Boys, and Mr. Player

Well instead of doing my homework I'm procrastinating. I just need to get my feelings out I suppose. I'm sitting at work and my stomach is making really weird noises (lemon juice diet) and the woman working next to me keeps grimacing. Oops. Mr. Player is completely out of my life. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't let him play me while he had a girlfriend. It just isn't fair to her. So now his ego is even bigger but it's whatever. He'll get played by someone eventually. My homecoming date is a sweetie and we're going to take wonderful pictures which I will post on Facebook and bother the hell out of Mr. Player. I've also been wearing a mix between pretty and modestly sexy dresses to school and I catch him glancing at me. I want to tell his girlfriend about what happened but I figure that it isn't really my business and she should know her boyfriend is a player and a pervert by now. He chose her over me because I wouldn't put out. She needs to learn a little lesson on life. He's also flirting with *Bridget again so yeah. Oh well! It wasn't a total loss. He introduced me to my new favorite band! Little Comets forever.

Lemon Infused Water

I have chair auditions in band tomorrow and I pretty much know I'll get 3rd to last chair which annoys me. My instructor put me in second chair (dream) and now I'm going to get moved down. He knows I'm not as good as everyone else yet he's taunting me with this second chair spot. I have a new crush and his name, *Aleksandr. He's Ukrainian, very attractive, and that's all I know but he's getting my focus off of Mr. Player. I just need to figure out how to talk to him without totally being awkward.
My frienimie  asked me how to approach a guy! That means she respects my craft! Be on the look out for a future blog post called, "The Girl's Guide To: Getting Guys." This will contain all the wonderful information that you need to know about getting a guy. I will have one about dating, playing, etc. too. Infact I'm thinking about writing a novel based on my blog called, "The Girl's Guide."
Not much to say today. Lots of homework to do. Love you all.

Playing Mr. Player

Expensive Turtle Mochas

Guess who just finished her summer homework!? ME! Just a few days shy of the first day of school but I finished and that's all that matters. Anyway I have an update about *Eric. He likes me. Like a lot. He's perfect. He likes all of the same music I do. He is an amazing drummer. He's really attractive and I'm a sucker for guys with curls. He's really sweet. There's only one problem. He's the biggest player ever. He is said to have done this to every girl in our school who is above a 6 which apparently includes me. I was drawn in at first, I'll admit. Attractive, talented, smart (YES! SMART!) guys don't usually like me. Tons of people have told me what he's like well yeah. If he thinks he can play me he is sadly mistaken. *Jamie did that to me and I won't let it happen again. I don't want him to do it again though so I have a plan. I'm going to play him. How? Um well I'm not sure yet! I will play him just like he's played so many other innocent girls. He'll never see it coming. Hopefully after I'm done teaching him a lesson he'll realize how stupid he's being and how much it actually hurts to be played. Although if he doesn't I will have still have knocked his ego down a few pegs which is enough for me.

A few days ago he wanted me to come visit him at work and that he had a surprise for me. I told him that if I had time I would see if I felt like it. So I walked into the coffee shop he worked at with another guy. HA! Anyway I ended up ordering the most expensive thing on the board and it turns out his surprise was buying me my drink. Happy coincidence I guess. My friend left and he and I talked for awhile. Not about anything important. He just told me how pretty I looked and my stupid face turned bright red.

Two days ago I sent him a picture of me in a really formal dress, with my hair done up and everything. I told him I was going downtown with a friend who was taking me to a really fancy restaurant! I asked him if he thought it was too much! HA! The whole night he was texting me. He was telling me that he was jealous and was hoping nothing was going on. I didn't text him till 10 even though I got home at 8, just to put him on edge. I told him I was watching a movie with another male friend of mine and after he texted me a whole lecture on how I was purposely trying to make him jealous I told him the friend I was with was gay to make him feel like a total idiot. 

There is more updates on this story coming. Wish me luck! I'll probably get my stupid self heartbroken but there is the chance that I won't. I guess we'll see what happens and until then I'll keep playing Mr. Player. School starts soon. I'll try to keep blogging but be warned that I'll be distant and I'll post more comments on my google+ page. Like little instant updates that are urgent but I don't have time to blog. 

Toilets and Mission Trips

Sorry about my lack of blogging. Everything has been quite hectic with getting home and all. I can't even tell you how hard it has been to adjust back. I keep wanting to throw my toilet paper in the garbage can. My internals are still adjusting to the foods of home. I literally sat on the toilet the first day home. Everything went fine except the first night when we were swimming I jumped into the shallow end of the pool and got a soft tissue injury. That was fun walking around with that. I had to limp everywhere and when I got back I wasn't able to walk on my foot for ten days. I however saw the doctors order as merely a suggestion and walked anytime my mother and brother weren't around to scold me. The trip was great though. I guess I should start from the beginning:
The People excluding the leaders:

Surviving on Peanut Butter
(Wishing it was in Mocha form)

• Me!
• *Cindy- my best friend
• *Lindy- the flirt
• *Angel- the princess
• *Amy- the girl who is good at everything
• *Dina- the tomboy
• *Tina- the lover
• *Melissa- the quiet one
• *Dajia- the girl with the long arms
• *Tilly- room mate 
• *Jessie- the know it all
• *Michaela- missionary kid 
• *Ross, *Randy and *Rick- the average guys (the clones)
• *Allen- the guy who's nice to everyone
• *Dane- the oddball 
• *Ian- the dream guy
• *Troy- the former football star
• *Joey- the male know it all
• *Justin- the hugger 

We all surprisingly meshed well together. Except *Tilly hated *Lindy because *Lindy kept flirting with Ian. *Angel and *Randy also got in a fight. I started getting annoyed at *Jessie. Other than that everything went well. Oh except we had pancakes every morning... That may sound good until you get to the third day and realize why normal people don't eat pancakes every morning. I'm pretty sure one of the reasons everyone started to get sick was because of all those dang pancakes. *Randy described the sickness as "peeing out of his butt." Which made the rest of us sick to our stomachs. *Dane had to end up skipping zip lining because he got so sick. Some people just ate peanut butter the rest of the trip. If I didn't feel so bad about not eating I would have said screw it and survived the last few days on protein bars and trail mix. Aside from the zip lining, swimming in the pool, swimming in the ocean, shopping, and drinking freshly squeezed watermelon juice for breakfast, we actually did do some good in the villages. We helped out with Vacation Bible School, brought food to families in need and prayed for the people. Some people don't really understand mission trips. They think that we are going there and forcing our religion down peoples' throats. One of these people who thinks that is my mother. Performing skits and laying our hand on people's shoulders while we say random words into the sky may seem like nothing to some people but the people there loved what we did. They were brought to tears, they thanked us, they hugged us. Not to sound all preachy but they taught me something too. The message is a little hard to explain unless you experience it first hand so in more simple terms: Remember to slow down and smile. On the trip we had to learn the phrase, "Just the way I like  it," because well, it was a saying that we had to say a lot. From the cockroaches in the showers, the yellowy whitish brown sheets, and the lizards in our comforters to the geese enclosure right outside our rooms, that saying helped us through it all. Thank goodness it was beautiful there because otherwise the wildlife would have prevented me from coming at all. There was a three legged, one eyed, cat monkey that just roamed around in the hotel lobby! I'm pretty sure we all brought home some kind of species. It's hard to talk about it now that I'm home. It seemed like it went by so fast. I think I'm going to take another trip but this time longer. I'll go to Africa on a medical trip or something. Then I can write a novel about it. I just want to write a novel. I figure that it doesn't matter how suckish my life gets as long as I can turn it into a novel some day.

I'll post more later. I just wanted you to have a little update on my whereabouts. Missed you all. My next post will be about my struggling love life. YAY! Not really. 

Bon Voyage!!

Thank goodness all airports have Starbucks

Tomorrow at 4 am I am leaving for the airport to (insert name of Latin Country here!) So nervous! A whole week without internet, phone service and my love. Yes, I am in love. All consuming, heart pounding, skin tingling, hand sweaty love and he has a girlfriend. I don't think that it's fair. All the guys I am into have girlfriends. This guy and his girlfriend have a ton of good moments and they're really cute together but they have so many unresolved issues. Watching them makes me cringe. Last night at my friend's bonfire there were no single guys except *Jesse and *Alex but they're gay sooo. All the couples were like all over eachother. Kissing and hugging. It made me feel really awkward and alone. I just someone I can hug and someone to dance with. Someone to make food with. Someone who will laugh at my stupid jokes and make even more stupid ones. Someone who will tolerate my love for horror movies and romantic comedies. Someone who will enjoy my over opinionated nature. Someone who I can text all the time. Someone I can call and talk on the phone for hours about absolutely nothing! Someone who wants to get out of the house and do things. Someone who will takes risks with me. Someone who will kidnap garden gnomes with me. (I'll explain that when I get home on August 11th.) I see all these couples and hear their stories and I want that. Yeah, being single is great but I want to secure a boyfriend. Guy friends can't always hang out with you. When they get girlfriends then their girlfriends hate you for hanging out with them so you feel obligated not to do things with them. I want to secure one man friend that I can always have to myself. Someone I can stargaze with, hold hands with, hug really, really tight.
I can't be thinking of love! I'm leaving! I'll miss you all! I can't wait to be helping people. It terrifies me that this time tomorrow I will be in another country, with all new customs, all new foods, all different people. I will keep a journal and post it when I get home. Sorry for the short blog post. Love you.

Apple Trees, Average Guys, And The Pool Boy

A perfect boy with a girlfriend is like an apple. The apple is beautiful, red, and ripe for the picking. No wormholes, no bruises. You're just about to take a bite of this wonderful apple and someone approaches you saying, "Don't eat that! It's covered in pesticides!" As I'm searching for a homecoming date it seems as though all the good guys are taken. Infact I have to spend this Saturday with one of these guys and their girlfriend. Yay. Even people who are super obnoxious and annoying have boyfriends/girlfriends. I suppose to other people I may be annoying too. While I'm searching for a guys who's not annoying should I really be searching for someone who is equally annoying?

Caramel Apple Mocha
(Perfect and totally single)

Why are only popular guys attractive? Why can't for once there actually be a sexy loner who's really smart? Like in the movies. Anytime I'm searching facebook I see all these attractive guys but then I read their facebook posts and I learn a whole bunch of vulgar terms that I've never even heard of before! I've never once walked into my honors classes and said, "Wow, he's good looking." I'm involved in the geekiest clubs at my school so even if I wanted to I don't really have a chance at meeting some vulgar, hot, probably hormonal teenage boy. SO I get to pick from: non attractive, really intelligent and most likely harboring some secret talent for music or some very attractive, (I don't like to use the word stupid but it's the only one that fits) stupid, with some talent for a sport. Why can't I have a semi attractive male, with average intelligence, who actually gets off the computer once in awhile and has at least a liking for music?
I realize I ask a lot more questions than I answer and I apologize. Although no one usually comes to me for advice. They oddly enough just like to listen to my ranting. I've been told that my voice impressions are very entertaining. If someone ever asks me for advice they usually don't want advice they just want me to make them laugh and feel better about their situation.
Does anyone else have those friends where you're trying to like vent all your anger out and they make it about themselves but in a really obvious way? "I've been really down lately about my whole situation with my dad and everything."
"Well my boyfriend implied that I looked fat!"
Anyone have those friends? Am I the only one? Or how about those people that talk to you really slow. "Hiiiiiiiii myyyyyyy naaaaaammmmmeeee issssss *JEN-NA. Diiiiiiiiiiiiid you unnnnnndeerrstand what the teeeachhher wasssss taaaaaallllking abbbbbouttttt?" I'm a blonde not an idiot. I can't decide if they do that to me because I'm blonde or because they think I don't understand English since I choose not to talk to them on any occasion that I don't have too. Why must popular people assume everyone likes them and if you don't like them you're obviously a freak, weirdo, or loner?
I'm trying to hurry with this blog post because the apple I like may be working at the pool today and I don't want to miss him.
My trip to (Insert name of Latin Country here) is coming up soon and all I can think about is the cute way I've devised to ask a boy to homecoming but all the guys I like (including pool boy) are apples. I would call him on the pay phone all romantic like and say, "I knew that the only way I'd be brave enough to ask you to homecoming was if I was more than 1000 miles away." I'm tempted to call one of them and just see what he says. Although their girlfriends may not be too happy with me. Although girls never are very happy with me when it comes to their boyfriends/crushes. I'm not sure what it is but I have a talent for ruining relationships. They really should be blaming the guy. I have a flirtatious personality. People keep telling me that it isn't hard to not be flirty but it is a personality trait and I can't help it. It's like if someone told a teenage boy to stop being hormonal or a comedian to stop being funny. Oh well. I hope it doesn't get me into too much trouble.
Well that's all for today. I need to shave and actually get ready for the day. However I have no where to go and nothing to do but a huge pile of summer homework but I figure me getting reading will put it off the inevitable. Sex And The City Is On today. How can I focus on homework?? This is so unfair! I also eventually have to practice trumpet and piano. Trumpet, piano, and summer homework, and I'm here judging other people's geekiness.

The Word "Gland"

Found this wonderful thing called "Send me a number." I'm too lazy to ask for people to send me a number so I'm going to answer all the questions because I'm slightly bored and this is much fun.
1. The person I love the most is no one. I love too many people equally!
2. My most embarrassing moment? Not sure. I blog about them in like every post. I suggest Sexy Smile Boy and Falling On My Butt, Shae Has No Knickers, and Using The Boys Lavatory and Other disasters. These posts contain most of my most embarrassing moments.
3. The story of my first kiss. Let's see, I was making faces and a boy sitting next to me and he turned around and we kissed. 3rd grade. Does that count?
4. A book or film that changed my life? This Much I Know Is True and Princess Diaries.
5. Five Bands that I like:

Eggnog and Peppermint Mochas
(Another reason winter is my favorite season)

• All American Rejects
• Good Charlotte 
• Forever The Sickest Kids
• Green Day
• Panic At The Disco

6. Favorite foods? Way too many to name. 

7. Ten things on my wish list:

• Jacuzzi tub
• A boyfriend (Have I mentioned that?)
• A homecoming date
• A pool
• A Louis Vuitton
• A mustang
• Flexibility
• More flatbread wraps (stupid brother)
• Talent
• Money (It may not be everything but it's still important in today's society)

8. My favorite childhood memory? I consider myself still a child. My favorite memory is probably making peanut butter bars with my friend. My hand was slightly shaking and graham cracker was flying everywhere. He didn't notice my hand shaking and though the graham cracker had bugs. I laughed so hard I almost peed 

9. Number of people I kissed? A lot. 

10. How many times have I been in love? Not sure. Once that I know of for sure.

11. My biggest insecurity? I'm a gossip. Well obviously. This whole blog is my life gossip!

12. Hobbies I have:

• Swimming
• Does shopping count?
• Cheer (I'm in it for the bows) 
• Yoga
• Blogging
• Reading
• How about eating?
• Flirting? Is that a hobby?

13. My favorite season? I like Winter and Summer. Spring and Fall are wet, gross and usually smell like dead worms.

14. Three things I think about the most:

• My future
• Boys 
• What's next

15. My pet peeves:

• Whiny dogs
• Leggings as pants
• Bad breath
• Dirty jokes
• A clean room with one thing on the floor. All messy or all clean and nothing in between.
• Skirts that ride up
• Tennis shoes worn with skirts
• Too many selfies
• Blue denim shorts
• People playing their music in public places (Headphones, anyone?)
• Double negatives
• The word "gland"
• When people tell blonde jokes. When I don't laugh they think I didn't get it so they explain it real slow, "Get it? Because blondes are dumb." 
• I should probably wrap this up because my list is huge

16. The reason I last cried was because of cramps and because when I complained to my dad he blamed Eve

17. My bad habits:

• Tripping in flats
• Flirting
• Gossiping
• Swearing (I'm better than most)
• Eating too much
• Sleeping too much
• Procrastination
• Reading "dirty" books
• This list is also huge so I'll move on

18. Something I look forward too? My trip to (Insert name of Latin Country here)!

19. Phobias I have:

• Bugs in general
• The dark
• Dead things

20. Five things I want to do before I die (besides the obvious things such as get married, get a house, etc.):

• Get 500 google+ followers (Big dreams, right? Aha)
• Start a world wide campaign 
• Start my own business
• Get a Louis Vuitton  
• Travel to several countries 

21. My last received text message says, "Ew, don't send it." 

22. The last awkward situation I was in occurred today. My skirt was tempted by the wind. In plainer terms, a few people saw my polka dot panties. Grr

23. Least favorite food, drink and color: Shrimp, Milk and Lilac

24. I spend most of my money on chicken sandwiches which is weird because they're only a dollar

25. The last lie I told? I have a boyfriend.

Hmm, that was quite enjoyable. Two blog posts in one night. It's rainy and I'm just sitting here so I figured, why not? Would love to hear your responses to some of these numbers. Message me, leave a comment, whatever or create your own post and attach a link. Good bye, lovelies. 

The Art Of Moving On And Random Lists

I was trying to think of a title that sounded most like a self help book. Although when has there ever been a self help book that actually worked. My crush is over and done. I have this problem, in fact many of us have this problem, where I create scenarios in my head. I imagine this perfect relationship with another person and then when it doesn't go my way I feel all depressed about it and actually end up hating the other person. SSB did nothing wrong but when I saw him laughing and flirting with another girl I felt a twinge of hate. He didn't do anything wrong and here I am staring and them and hating when I could be enjoying myself. It's the last time I'll see him for quite awhile and it dawned on me that there isn't much hope for us. I'm better off a single lady anyway. Not sure why, but I am. Googled him because I'm a stalker.
Apparently he aspires to be a computer programmer and has created multiple games and websites, and here I am blogging to my limited audience.
I'm happy today. Not sure if it was my flat bread pocket filled with spinach leaves and fresh tomato or if it's because I hugged an old friend last night. Maybe it's just because I got to swim today.
My mom made me horrible. There's this guy that I've always kind of been into but he has a girlfriend who's really sweet and he's never shown interest in me anyway so I kind of just put him in the back of my mind but my mother brought him up to me today. She said that if him and I were dating, she would invite him to come on our annual ski vacation. It would be so lovely to have him accompany us. See! I'm terrible! He's in a relationship and I'm sitting here thinking about how wonderful it would be if he wasn't!
My blog post is all over the place today but I figured I should give an update on what I'm doing so you don't think I'm dead. So here's a bunch of lists that I created because I have nothing better to do with my spare time and creating games and websites is not my thing. It's hard to show off to a guy who is already pursuing his career.
Favorite Things To Do (Wonderful for people who have no car and are in need of ideas)

Pumpkin Spice Mocha
(From Jojo's Rise and Wine, my favorite coffee shop to walk to)

• Lay by the pool
• Read
• Go to the coffee shop
• Walk 5 miles to the mall
• Sleep
• *Sex And The City marathons (*Degrassi, Devious Maids and Millionaire Matchmaker also work)
• Blogging
• Reading blogs (Leave your URL)
• Facebook stalking

List Of Things I'll Never Do Again

• Eat while bathing
• Eat while swimming
• Eat while doing Yoga
• Eat while doing my nails
• Eat too much of anything
• Get a pedicure 
• Honors Biology
• Feed dogs too much
• Babysit 
• Kiss a guy first 
• Ask a guy to a dance (Don't care if I never get a dance date again. I felt like I had to be the guy. Buy the ticket, pay for dinner. I didn't, but it's an awkward feeling. Go feminists though)

List Of Things I want

• A boyfriend

Random Facts (Because Knowledge Is Good)

• Donkeys kill more people than plane crashes
• There is such a thing as dying from a broken heart
• The electric chair was invented by a dentist 
• The average American eats about 11.9 pounds of cereal a year
• Non-dairy creamer is flammable 
• You can lead a cow upstairs and not downstairs (so don't bring your cow upstairs)
• There are 293 ways to make a dollar out of change (meaning there are 294 ways to pay for a chicken sandwich with exact change)
• Male bats have the highest homosexuality rate than any other mammal 

A List Of Things That Make Me Happy

• People
• Actual sales
• Free Stuff
• Cheap Shoes
• Boyfriends
• Gentlemen 
• Flavored Water
• Sex And The City
• Random acts of kindness
• Thrift stores

A List Of My Most Recent Embarrassing Moments

• That whole Marilyn Monroe thing where her skirt flies up? Not so glamorous when you're wearing a short skirt and not so cute underwear
• Paying in quarters
• Trying to impress someone and not realizing there's stuff on your face. I can't tell you how many times that happens to me
• Texting and bumping into a tree
• Being honked, whistled at and having my friend flick off the driver. He turned around and we ended up running half a mile
• My dad's road rage
• My dad judging people and having them hear him
• My dad mocking some one's language
• My dad calling everything gay
• My dad not acting his age
• People noticing my slight (apparently not so slight) weight gain
• Naturally making a fool out of myself in front of guys
• Showing up way to early for everything
• Falling on my butt in front of SSB
• Laughing too much and bad times
• Walking the neighbors dog. He started pooping puddles in the lawn of a State Patrol Trooper! I couldn't clean it up because it was a puddle! He glared at me but what could I have done?
• Sneezed in my coffee while drinking coffee in the presence of an attractive coffee boy. Felt obligated to throw the rest of my coffee away because he saw me sneeze in it. Wasted a good Blended Mint Condition Mocha w/ Extra Whip

Well that's my blog post for tonight. Love you all. Hopefully I get rid of this writers block.

Ruby Red Slippers & IPhones

It seems that with aging I only am only given more rules and more responsibility. Everyone is eagerly waiting for their new car, their drivers licence, staying out later, and dating. Well while everyone is getting their new car they also have to get a job to pay for this car and the insurance and the gas. So the money that is made from their job is given to their cars. Am I the only one who finds this tedious and rather annoying? Although it may be because I'm extremely jealous of those who don't have to walk everywhere and get honked/yelled at by random strangers on their way. Since entering high school my mom is working even harder to make sure I am safe. Now I can't even hang out at a guys house unless she calls the parents. What happened to age bringing freedom? I know it's because she cares and not because she doesn't trust me so in no way is this blog post against my mother. In fact, this post is against aging. I wish I could go back to when I was two. Ever since I can remember there's always been some kind of drama in my life:

• Ages 3-4 at daycare it was all about red ruby slippers. If you didn't have Dorthy shoes, then you were singled out as the loser. You also had to have the coolest stuff to play with at "Share and Tell." *Valarie was in possession of said slippers. She also didn't let me or my best friend play with her toys at "Share and Tell."
• Age 4-5 it was all about crayons. I had the 24 set so I was just average. The coolest people had the 64 pack with the sharpener.
• Age 6 you had to have the robotic cat that walked when you pulled on it's leash. I had a stuff cat that I dragged around school with a string wrapped around it's neck. 
• Age 7 was the backpacks. I had a Britney Spears backpack... Well you can imagine how that went down.
• Ages 8-9 was about being funny and having stupid talents. Like having milk come out your eyes or spitting corn in people's hair. 
• Age 10 it was all about singing. Who was the best singer, what singers were popular, etc. I can't sing. 
• Age 11 everyone started getting phones. I didn't get a phone but it didn't matter because I'd have no one to text.
• Ages 12-13 was dating. Beautiful girls were dating twits and morons. It smelled desperate.
• Age 14-15 IPhones. Still have my free phone. Lost a lot of Free Phone Friends.
• Age 16 Cars and Cash.

Zebra Frappuccino
(Atleast I'm on the Fancy Coffee Bandwagon)
 

I was always out of  the loop. Not because I like being a unique individual but because I've always missed the bandwagon or tried to ape up but then fell off. I've always been the weird kid, the odd one out. There's no one I can blame but myself and my mother for not buying me what's "in." What is "in?" anyway? Who chooses what's in and what isn't? Who says who is popular and who isn't? Is it really all about having sparkly red slippers or an IPhone? I don't aspire to be popular, only to understand what it means. 

Status update on SSB: Talked to my guy friend and when I asked if he would still date a girl who fell at his feet and acted awkward around him, he laughed and asked if I fell. He's either extremely shallow or I'll have to work a little harder to obtain SSB. It bothers me how much I like him. Here I am doing regular everyday things and thinking about him constantly even though I know he's probably not thinking the same things. I'm thinking up scenarios of how perfect homecoming and prom would be if he just liked me back and he's probably thinking about guy stuff like cross country, guitar or video games. Rant for the day.

Anyway, that's my post. It's quite rainy. I may post again later.

Sexy Smile Boy and Falling On My Butt

What is love? It's one of the most common questions throughout the ages. It's a word with more definitions than any other word. I'm just not sure what it means yet. Sure I've said it to a all of my boyfriends but that's because they said it first and asking, "What is love?" in a high school relationship to a high school boy is not the best option. Anyway me being super strong (or just entertaining) and all, I was invited to help set up a stage for a concert coming up. Learned how to Daisy Chain and what the heck it meant to Daisy Chain. I'm pretty proud. Also proved stronger than one of the boys although he was in middle school and had the upper body strength of a hamster.
We were being lectured on why we had been invited there today (they claimed it was because we were learning but we all knew that it's easier to hire volunteers than workers that they have to pay) and in walks this 73in tall guy, with brown wavy/curly hair, deep brown eyes (slightly squinty like mine) and a sexy smile followed by *Jerry. *Jerry and I don't like each other in anyway but we tease each other which people usually mistake for flirting. I didn't successfully avoid *Jerry but our teasing was only brief and not when I was in the presence of Sexy Smile boy.
Up until 4:00 I was working hard and only making slight glances at him. I was moving stage pieces, drilling them together, moving boxes, carrying crates, sweating, etc. Then however, *Jerry, Other boy, and Hamster all went out to the garage to start cutting two by fours for the stage and it was just my 22 year old mentor, Sexy Smile boy and myself. I didn't really know if I liked him, I only knew that he was nice to look at.
We worked side by side together for the next hour. It was wonderful. He was so fun to be with. He had a child like playfulness but also had a very mature attitude towards what we were doing. We had to make a line out of tape on the projector screen and he teased me for my OCD for wanting the line to be perfectly straight although after a few minutes of pondering and staring at our semi crooked tape line, he was all for making a perfectly straight line. He and I walked around for awhile looking for a tape measure. (Not really sure why. He was the smart one who wanted a straight line. I was the girl pretending I cared so I could listen to him tease me.)

So that's what love looks like.
Strawberries and Cream Frappuccino 

By 5:00 to of the boys had left, Hamster and Other boy. So it was my mentor, *Jerry, Sexy Smile boy and myself. We had pizza and watched the storm rage outside. After dinner we began to hook up wires. I was stuck putting curtains up around the stage edges first so it was less time spent with Sexy Smile boy. After however he and I were wiring right next to each other and realizing we did everything wrong and starting over again. We didn't ignore *Jerry but it was quite obvious that I was paying much more attention to Sexy Smile boy.
By 7:00 *Jerry was gone. I figured I'd turn on the charm except I couldn't. I was usually so flirty and charming around guys but around SSB (Sexy Smile boy) I couldn't! I kept saying the stupidest things. I would stumble on my words and mumble and oh yeah, I fell on my arse! I fell 1 foot out of the tech booth right on my butt at his feet. My mentor helped me up and I was so in a daze that I didn't look to see if he offered his hand. It wouldn't have mattered though. I had just fallen on my butt. I've walked around school in heels for years and my school has steep ramps! Here I am going around tripping and falling in flat shoes! I've never been the pretty girl, or the smart girl, or the funny girl. All I have to rely on is my flirtatious nature and so far with SSB it hasn't been going well. I don't understand why I'm acting so out of character.
This is why I'm questioning what love is. Or what like is I guess. I don't know much about him other than I like being with him. How am I supposed to know if that qualifies! I keep messing up. I keep thinking I like someone and then realizing that they aren't for me. It just seems different around SSB but that could because I've never embarrassed myself so badly in front of any other guy so often in so little time before. Maybe I just like that he didn't piss himself laughing at me. I guess I don't have to worry though. Girls who make awkward mouth sounds and fall on their butts are not exactly attractive to most guys.
The quest for love continues. Wish me luck as I wish all of you the same.

4 Extroverts Lost In The City

I enjoy the wonderful roller coaster that is my page views. Hello, Lovelies. Now I suppose you are wondering what the problem of 4 extroverted people lost in the city is and what advice you could possible get from this post... Well that's irrelevant, this is my story which could possibly include some advice that's really important for living your life.

Bad Waitress Coffee Shop
One of my favorite big city coffee shops

So you may or may not know that in just a few weeks or so, I will be headed to (insert name of Latin country here) to rebuild houses, pass out food and just in general interact with the people of (insert name of Latin country here) To prep us for going we had to visit a culturally diverse neighborhood, eat at an international market and ride the bus while talking to random strangers about their lives. Now I already come from a very diverse suburban area with a very diverse school so it wasn't exactly an adventure for me. However, the other people on our trip, not so much. They saw a person with dreadlocks and gasped. It was rather annoying traveling with so many people who apparently have never seen a homeless person or never smelled a person who hasn't bathed in a week. Now I can't blame them for growing up in the cushioned environment that they did but what I can blame them for is being so rude. Non of the people we saw stood out to me as odd but even our leaders were saying things like, "Now this looks nothing like our home of (insert name of heavily white populated area here) but remember different does not mean wrong." I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. We haven't even left the country yet and people don't even know what the city is like!
A girl in another group, *Sarah, was waiting for the bus with us. She began conversing with a man about his life. He asked her how old she was and she replied with 16. He started screaming, "GET OUT OF THIS F**CKING BUSINESS AS FAST AS YOU CAN! ONCE YOU'RE IN YOU'LL NEVER GET OUT! YOU'RE SO YOUNG!" The man apparently thought she was a prostitute.
My group consisted of two college students, *Lizzy and *Ron, and two juniors, *Jane and I. We were all very extroverted. We all figured that we were right. I knew I was right but whatever.
The food was wonderful. You can't go wrong with handmade cream cheese wantons and chicken Thai Pad. Well unless your *Lizzy of course. Now with American foods Spicy is not deadly. Spicy in American food is the equivalent of Mild in Thai food. Mild is playing it safe, Medium is getting risky and Spicy is like if you could put Hell inside your mouth. I being the bland German ordered Mild. *Lizzy who has obviously never had Thai food before ordered Spicy. The cook and I exchanged glances and I think I saw him smirk. I was enjoying my food while practicing using chopsticks and *Lizzy... Well she was crying, sweating and wiping snot from her nose! She was turning pink! It took every once in my body not to fall off my chair laughing. I was suppressing my laughter so much I spit on *Ron. He was too preoccupied with *Lizzy's tomato face to notice though. *Jane and I continued to enjoy our food and smile at one another.
Then came the bus ride. The part that most of the people were dreading. We were told before we went out that we had to respect other people's culture or they wouldn't listen to us. (We also learned about the "Squatty Potty." Yay.) The man who was speaking to us used to live on the Gaza Strip in India so naturally we figured he had some good advice for us. However, he was also strongly Lutheran (Unnaturally) so the only thing I remember him saying was, "There were so many Hindu sculptures! Even though I just wanted to kick them over and bash them, I knew in doing so I wouldn't be able to spread the message of Christ." I looked over at the other's and they seemed to find that this was a totally normal statement. I didn't understand! How can you listen to a man who just totally denounced a whole religion!?! We all follow our religions based on faith so how can he claim that Christianity is better? (I'm an Episcopalian, Christian and even I find that statement truly aggravating.)
Anyway enough ranting. Back to my story. So non of us grabbed a map because we all figured someone else did. So we spent like 30 minutes trying to figure that out. We were told to get on bus 6. Now I knew where bus 6 would pick us up because the city is my place and because I'm usually right. Yet no one would listen to me. (I didn't even judge their religion or anything!) We ended up getting on bus 3 because we had to get to *White Water Mall which they thought was the same thing as *White Water Ave. Everyone on the bus had ear buds in so I awkwardly sat their playing with my fingernails and listening to the conversation that *Lizzy was having with and Nigerian Woman behind me. *Lizzy told me she didn't understand anything the woman was saying and thought she mentioned something about racism. She said nothing about racism but I'll give *Lizzy and A for Effort. We got off the bus at *White Water Ave and surprisingly, (not really) it had no relation to *White Water Mall. So *Ron, suggested we board bus 5. I suggested we go back and get on the right bus but apparently being a college student makes you more superior. Again everyone had headphones or ear buds so spent my time just observing. Like noticing the bus driver wore no bra and the woman next to me had two rings on her ring finger. We got off the bus and after walking down multiple streets found *White Water Mall. I knew this place because my DECA state competition was here. We had to find 11th street to catch a train. (I knew where that was.) They walked up and down the streets trying to find 11th street. *Lizzy complained that the streets went 7th to 14th. I almost cried. I was getting really stressed. The others seemed so laid back and relaxed and there I was seconds from tearing my hair out of my head. I tried to laugh at their jokes but as soon as I did they stopped laughing and it was just awkward. So then they figured we should just find our way back. We then proceeded to board bus 7 even though we needed to be looking for bus 21. *Ron pointed out that we were going in the wrong direction abut 15 minutes later so we got off the bus. Now we were about an hour walking distance away from the market and, oh yeah, it started to pour and hail and I, being always right, wore flip flops. "Your feet look like they're in so much pain," Yes, yes they are. Thanks for stating the obvious *Lizzy. So we walked back. They were deeply involved in their conversation about college and I was the 4th person on a 3 person side walk. My clothes became 2 pounds heavier and my pants wouldn't stay up anymore. I was miserable and worried we wouldn't get back in time. They remained calm and didn't even mention the fact that I was right and they were wrong. We arrived in time, just as I was about to start tearing up.
I suppose my advice for this post is to just relax. Worrying does nothing. Also if you've never been to the city and the person you are with has, listen to them no matter how right you think you are.
My wonderful best friend started blogging. He's much more deep and sophisticated than I am. His wonderful witty tales (which are all true) of love and heartbreak will have you eagerly waiting for his next post. Check him out at thenewgaykingalex.blogspot.org. Until next time, my friends.