Using the Boy's Lavatory and other Disasters

Me again. So everyone has that moment that they wish they could just forget forever. Well I have a million of them. These are the kind of things that made me want to move schools. They may seem small but not if you are living them. I have 5 places I go when I'm utterly humiliated:

1. My bedroom, in bed, under the blankets
2. My bathroom
3. Underneath the stairwell at school
4. My mom's bedroom
5. The living room in my basement

I have so many embarrassing moments that these places have become my comfort spots and  my comfort foods include: macaroni and cheese, pizza rolls, pizza pockets, pizza and basically anything I can put in the microwave. Aside from the big main moments I've done a lot of other embarrassing things like talking about someone when they happen to be standing right behind me, hugging random people I don't know, waving at someone who is actually waving at the person behind me, saying dumb things in debate, crying when getting in trouble, my stomach growling in health class when the teacher happened to be talking about how important breakfast is and the awkward moments when I laugh so hard I pee a little. Here are some of the major lovely moments that are contaminating my blood stream with salt:

• During a make out session my boyfriend farted. It wasn't one of those teeny, silent ones where you could pretend you didn't smell it, it was like a full on fart. After that I couldn't make out with him anymore. I told him it was late and that he should go home. Every time I kissed him after that I would cross my fingers that he wouldn't do it again. I know it was probably worse for him than it was for me but when the girls asked me what I did the night before with him I wanted to crawl under I rock.
• One time I used the boys' bathroom 4 times before I ran into a guy who informed me that it was the boys' restroom! Now every time I go to the bathroom, I study the sign to make sure it's the girls' room and I survey the bathroom for urinals. I can't believe I was so blind that I didn't even notice the row of urinals!
• On my days when mother nature pays me a visit and all I have are pads, I usually wear big baggy sweat pants and granny panties to make myself feel more comfortable. Those days I honestly feel like nothing can make me look grosser than I already feel. So one day I was making fun of a boy in math class. Apparently he didn't get that I was only flirting with him so he tripped me. Well he tried. I had stopped moving when I saw his foot come at me so instead of tripping me he kicked me. When his foot slipped down off my leg my pants came down. My ugly panties and my extra padding was exposed. The girl I really hate came up to me and patted me on the shoulder saying "Don't worry no one saw." It's like yeah they did, THE WHOLE MATH CLASS SAW. Her mom mentioned her wonderful deed of making me feel better in a church sermon. Oddly enough, everyone seemed to know it was me. I got emails and texts of sympathy. I wanted to just die.
• I wear high heeled shoes all the time, everyday, constantly and I even own a pair of high heeled slippers. So one day I put on my black boots that have really chunky heels so it's impossible to trip in them, or so I thought. I was walking downstairs to my locker when I tripped all the way down a flight of stairs. My "best friend" couldn't stop cracking up. Everyone one the staircase were pissing themselves and laughing so hard their faces were turning an odd shade of purple. I would have felt better if my friend had told everyone to shut up but she didn't. In fact she was literally in tears. I went to my first hour class and tried to hot glue the heel back on but just my luck the glue gun wasn't working. I told my science teacher that I had to call home and get another pair of shoes and he almost cried to. It was the day we were launching bottle rockets outside so I had to hobble after my bottle rocket when it landed. I didn't get my shoes until 4th hour so by then the whole school knew about my stupid shoes and I was given the nick name "Wanna be Barbie" because my foot was at an awkward angle.
• One day I was out with my best friend *Alex and I was wearing my favorite orange sweater from Ann Taylor and my cutest jeans. It was a cold day and everything was covered in dirty, brown slush. Alex and I were taking a walk around the pond. We had walked down by the pond shore and I slipped in the mud, and into the greenish, brownish water. My sweater shrunk, my butt was covered in mud and I was really cold. Alex was really sweet about it and he took me home and washed my clothes. Not only had I embarrassed myself in front my sophisticated best friend but I had gotten many car honks from drivers passing by. I went home and spent the rest of the day crying over the loss of my sweater and eating soup. 

I know I posted this early but I will have more embarrassing moments tomorrow. Comment! I love feedback! I would also love to hear about your wonderful embarrassing moments