When Choosing Mr. Right

There are rumors that my sleazy ex boyfriend is getting dumped which serves him right. Today I'm going to be talking about guys. Yes, this is very surprising. Realized that there is no perfect guys in high school. I also have some experience with college guys, and let me just say that they aren't all that great either. I talked to this one guy who told me that is was totally reasonable that I was dumped because I accept homosexual marriage. How is this reasonable? Listened to sophomore boys talk about poop which was rather disturbing. Guys always blame girls for fishing for compliments when they are equally as guilty! I'm going out with this one guy who talks about all the nice stuff he does for girls. How about shutting up and actually carrying out your plans?
I'm also seeing 2 college students at the moment. 1 seems like a total fruitcake. Do guys usually tell you they're in love with your hair? Everything he says is a compliment. He wants to take me star gazing in his pickup. Can't get any more Tumble than that right there. He's also only 5 foot 6. Guess I'm leaving the heels at home. Going out to my favorite restaurant with him tomorrow. Praying everything goes well.
I have a date tonight with the other college boy. Although I'm not totally sure it's a date. He thinks I am too young for him which is hilarious because my IQ could eat the average college students' IQ for breakfast. Okay, so not really, but I am highly intelligent. He and I are going out to a concert tonight. No dinner though which irritates me slightly but I guess he's really trying to hammer in the whole "just friends" thing which is rather fine with me since I'm seeing 2 other guys right now.
Was just on TV so guess I'm doing pretty well for myself. One day I'll find someone who isn't intimidated by my brains, thinks that I'm beautiful, and doesn't act like a submissive puppy.
I am still in love with my ex. I know it's dumb since he broke my heart and he still doesn't want me back, but I never shut up about him. I'm always looking at him. Those dumb blue eyes of his, that red hair, those pink lips. I hate him for hurting me, but I guess we'll always want we cannot have. How do married couples work? Do they actually love each other or did they settle because they couldn't reach perfection? Will we all just end up settling for someone. In the end do betterflies really matter or should we really be searching for someone to care for us and treat us well. Someone who will take care of us when we're sick and keep us warm in bed at night. Are butterflies just stress sickness? Can there be love without that awkward turning sensation in our stomachs? Should we be searching for compatibility or for weak knees?
Your Love Sick Teenage Partner in Crime,
Shae Vin

To Land a Man in 2 Weeks

My life has been a total roller coaster of emotion lately. Some days I am totally happy and everything is going awesome but then the next day it seems like everything is just terrible. No, I am not bipolar for all of you out there who are trying to psychoanalyze me. I am just a teenage girl. I discovered today that the fish (my ex's girlfriend that he dumped me for) can sing. I hate that she's better than me. Don't get me wrong, I don't miss him, I miss the happy relationship. He broke my heart and hurt my pride. Oh well, at least I can be satisfied by my TV interview next week. I'm going to be on the news. I just wish he felt my pain. I still haven't found anyone to drag to my upcoming jazz concert. It's 2 weeks away.
I smell like sweat. I hate this sweater.
I have a few guys that I am thinking of right now...

1. Mister Mourning
Tall blonde with beautiful eyes and a sweet personality. He has a vehicle which would be awesome but he has been recently dumped and it would be near impossible to convince him even if I mentioned it was a totally platonic date

2. Muscle Man
He's 24 so this would be nothing more than a friendship thing. He works with my mom as a nurse. Nursing can be considered a noble profession? Whatever, I don't buy into those sexist stereotypes. He's hot and has a car, but since there is no possible chance of romance I'm not sure I want to go with him

3. The Invisible One
I've never actually seen him in real life and don't actually know if he has a vehicle. I know that he's attractive and into music. We don't talk much but I'm not excluding him from my list

4. Cupcake In a Cup Boy

Coffee Cupcake
While not a drink, I thought it best fit today's theme 

He sits behind me in math and I've used my best flirting on him. Everyday I ask him what he made in his cooking class the previous hour. He's single for sure because I used one of my best lines: "Your girlfriend is lucky to have a man who can cook for her." He totally blushed and admitted to being single. Not sure if he has a car though. He also has short teeth. Is that a reason not to like someone? I'm keeping him as a possibility

To the person who left me a comment:
Although I appreciate you taking the time to leave me a message I don't think I can just let love happen. Nothing has been accomplished by doing nothing. Love doesn't just happen. You have to go and find it. While just waiting for it to happen seems like the more desirable, poetic option, life isn't just going to find me a soul mate. I have to go find him. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have four viable options and two weeks!
                                                     

Gremlins and Fish

Nothing soothes a broken heart
like a chocolate mocha 

So I dated Swedish Chocolate, yes, the man. It was great. We went on romantic outings, he kissed my forehead, he gave me cute nicknames, told me he loved me, yadda yadda. Then he broke up with me for another girl. He started dating her like 2 days after me. They post pictures on Facebook by the hour. Skipped school today because I'm so down about it. People keep saying how cute they are together and it makes me want to scream. I'm done dating musically talented, little shrimps, that I can pick up and throw. I want a man who acts like a man. I just wish I had a boyfriend that I could dangle in his face. I hate sitting around and moping while he's at school holding her hand. He never posted anything about us dating on Facebook but as soon as he starts dating her, he feels the need to tell the whole world. I hope she breaks his heart. I hope he breaks hers. I hope something bad happens so that they realize that their relationship is a bad idea. I'm really annoyed sorry for ranting. This is more of an update rather than an actual blog post. So the quest for love continues...again. I need to re work my list of requirements. Musical talent is coming off the list and athletic ability is going on. Going for the manly men now. New end of the spectrum. He also can't get winded from walking up the stairs. I want someone I can drag on hikes and trips to foreign countries.
OH YEAH, I ALMOST FORGOT! I'M GETTING INTERVIEWED FOR A NEWSPAPER!! SO TAKE THAT WORLD!! My Gremlin of an ex boyfriend can date that girl with the fish eyes all he wants! I have an interview! Whoop!

Swedish Chocolate

So *James is dating a guy now and *Tyler has a girlfriend. Funny. Both of them liked me but *James didn't think I liked him back and *Tyler liked the other girl more than me so that's all I have to say about those two. Quietly stewing.

Swedish Chocolate Mocha

 It doesn't matter anymore though because I've fallen head over heels. Literally I tripped in front of him in my new Manolo Blahniks. I don't think he noticed though. So he is also part of the drum line with *Mr. Player so obviously I also had my eyes set on him but he's a sophomore and I'm a junior so I figured he probably wouldn't be into that. Younger guys never go for older girls. They'll like and admire the older girl but they'll never actually approach said "older girl." So at the time I kind of ruled him out as a possible contender (boyfriend, just for clarification.) I'm not sure I can describe him that well. I'm bad with character description. Which is why I'll never probably be able to produce anything other than blog posts and newspaper columns but I'll try my best. He has red hair which is brighter on some days than others but usually darker. He has these amazing eyes that I would say are usually blue but depending on what he's wearing can also have a tint of green. He obviously is dotted with freckles because I'm a sucker for gingers. He is tall, skinny, and kind of awkward. He has musical ability that amazes me. He plays guitar, some piano, basically any type of percussion instrument (in marching band it's bass, I'm still in awe at his ability to carry it, he's so delicately built,) and saxaphone. He has won awards for his talent. Good thing I'm slightly talented at music.
Anyway, since my two targets were dating other people and they were also the only people I talked too except my gay best friend, *Alex, I needed someone to keep me busy on my long car trip to (Random big city.) *Alex had been talking to umm *Swedish Chocolate (I will explain the name later, he is SC for now) and so I took that has my opportunity. I told him I was going to steal his number from *Alex and he smiled and told me it was totally fine.
After that it was just talking. Everything went pretty great. He told me that he would have talked to me sooner but he was too shy because I was really pretty (AHHHHH!). We talked for hours everyday and we asked each other random questions. I learned a lot about him including the fact that he had a girlfriend. It was kind of difficult to learn that information since I already kind of liked him but I figured he would be a good friend to keep around and I could find someone else. I didn't really know how much I liked him at that point though. We began to talk to each other more at school and during a band concert outdoors he held my hand. His fingers were turning purple which I suppose was his justification for wanting to hold my hand. Later that week though we had an indoor concert in which we held hands just to hold hands. My heart was beating out of my chest, I was biting my lip so I wouldn't say anything stupid, there was a lump in my throat, and I pray his hand was the one that was slightly moist. (I also took his sweater for a week)
He texted me that night that he didn't get to see his girlfriend often and that it was just nice to hold my hand but he didn't want me to read too much into it. He was simply holding my hand and nothing more. He texted *Alex something different. He told *Alex that he liked me but he had a girlfriend and didn't exactly know what to do. I supposed it was natural. His girlfriend was a cute cheerleader who wanted to date him and I was an intimidating, upperclassman who gave mixed messages. I sulked for the next week which annoyed the hell out of most of my friends because apparently, "at least he likes you," was supposed to be enough to make me happy. *James and *Tyler also liked me.
I still talked to him. I couldn't pull myself away from him, his smile, his laugh. I bought him Swedish Chocolate because he speaks Swedish. He complimented me, worried about me, and when he hugged me I would melt. I knew I was just getting myself deeper into a hole but I really didn't care.
One night after band I saw his girlfriend outside. She has just finished cheerleading. He walked down the cement stairs to me and not her. I told him I saw his girlfriend and I pointed in her direction and he said that he would see her another time. I rolled my eyes and accused him of having a weird relationship. He smiled and nodded.
We hung out last Friday. We bantered about the usual things: gun control (not exactly sure why,) skiing, his rival saxaphone player, busses being romantic, jazz music, etc. when I decided to ask him about his awkward relationship with his girlfriend. She wouldn't go to his jazz performance that night and I asked why (I attended for the record.) He replied that she didn't want to. She wasn't busy, she just didn't want to. I rolled my eyes again. "Do you two ever do anything?"
"I ask her but she always says no."
"How long have you two dated?"
"4 months and she hasn't even met my parents."
"What are her goals?"
"Umm I'm not sure."
"What's her guilty pleasure?"
"Umm not sure."
"What's her middle name?"
There was no answer. He flushed red and admitted to not being happy in his relationship. "Then what are you doing?" I asked. We finished our coffee in my favorite coffee shop. It has jazz nights on Friday and Saturday so we agreed to make every other Friday jazz and coffee night. I complimented his smile and he did that really cute guy thing where they turn away and try to hide it but you can seem them turn pink and the corners of their mouth turn up. We laughed and continued to share more life stories until he had to leave.
That night he texted me that he broke up with her. I wanted to jump and scream and laugh and smile but I didn't. OKAY so I did do that stuff. Today he told *Alex that he liked me but wanted to wait until the right moment to tell me. I know dating a guy fresh out of a relationship is always bad news but something about it feels so right. I'm going to (Different Random Big City) with him on Saturday. We will be taking a bus, visiting the art museum, and eating foods from all different countries at the Global Market <3 This will be our unofficial first date. Wish me luck.

Busted Toes and Broken Hearts

A lot of you have probably already enjoyed your homecoming. I enjoyed mine as well. Although I can't help wishing it turned out a little different. In general the night was really amazing. We started out taking pictures and I didn't look like a total idiot. Everyone liked the dress I bought for $5 at the Salvation Army and I even got compliments from people I didn't know who happened to be taking pictures in the same place. We went bowling, played laser tag (14th place out of 15 aha), and I was even reunited with one of the guys who went on the Guatemala trip with me. Dancing was really fun and the after party that my date and I had was great although if I would have known that he wasn't into me I probably wouldn't have invited him into my house afterwards and we would have went to an actual party.

Rose infused water
Get it? Rose colored lenses?
It was hard to find a drink that worked with this post.

Yes, this is what I'm distressed about. I really liked my date. We'll call him *James. *James is one of the nicest people I've ever met which happens to be a bad thing in this case. I must have mistaken his general kindness for flirting. Halfway through the dance a few other people started dancing with him and I laughed. I was thinking that they might like him but he isn't interested. I was thinking that we were going to go back to my place and he would tell me that he liked me. He kept trying to make me admit it all night which I also happened to mistake for flirting. *Tyler wasn't wearing the rose colored lenses that I had on apparently and realized that *James wanted to be dancing with those other people. He walked right over to *James and told him to go dance with me. It happened again that I was separated from *James but I was having fun dancing with *Tyler so I ignored it. *Tyler bought me a drink and before I left we exchanged numbers. I didn't even notice that this super attractive male was buying me a drink and wanting to keep in touch with me. All I could think about was how I couldn't wait to have *James all to myself. We went back to my place. *Tyler tried to text me but I ignored them. *James and I ran around Cub bare foot piling food into our cart. We laughed as we slid on the tile, and we mocked the faces of the surprised looks of the other customers who were shopping. We watched Mean Girls together and told each other secrets. He let me lay on him. He kept me warm. He didn't kiss me before he left, but I didn't notice because his hug was enough for me. I figured he had gotten nervous and we'd talk about our relationship some other time. The next day he told me he started seeing someone. Us being really close friends and all he told me as soon as it happened. I texted short replies and he knew something was up. He fell asleep during our awkward texting and hasn't talked to me since. I smile and wave at him during school but we have no classes so there is no chance of further communication.
He talked to me about *Tyler. He tried to convince me that I should go out with him. *Tyler is a great guy but I know nothing about him and he isn't *James. *Tyler is also a typical TGFY (to good for you.) Basically a guy who has so many girls on him that he gets to have his pick. A nerdy, blog writer isn't exactly a first pick. We're friends because he's pretty interesting but nothing will go beyond that. I'm interested but not crushing if that makes sense.
Anyway that was my story. I also busted up my toe dancing in heels the whole night. Yay. My feet hurt and that stupid corsage that *James told me to keep is looking at me. It's still beautiful even though the petals are beginning to curl and fall off. Good day to you all.

Lemon Juice, Ukranian Boys, and Mr. Player

Well instead of doing my homework I'm procrastinating. I just need to get my feelings out I suppose. I'm sitting at work and my stomach is making really weird noises (lemon juice diet) and the woman working next to me keeps grimacing. Oops. Mr. Player is completely out of my life. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't let him play me while he had a girlfriend. It just isn't fair to her. So now his ego is even bigger but it's whatever. He'll get played by someone eventually. My homecoming date is a sweetie and we're going to take wonderful pictures which I will post on Facebook and bother the hell out of Mr. Player. I've also been wearing a mix between pretty and modestly sexy dresses to school and I catch him glancing at me. I want to tell his girlfriend about what happened but I figure that it isn't really my business and she should know her boyfriend is a player and a pervert by now. He chose her over me because I wouldn't put out. She needs to learn a little lesson on life. He's also flirting with *Bridget again so yeah. Oh well! It wasn't a total loss. He introduced me to my new favorite band! Little Comets forever.

Lemon Infused Water

I have chair auditions in band tomorrow and I pretty much know I'll get 3rd to last chair which annoys me. My instructor put me in second chair (dream) and now I'm going to get moved down. He knows I'm not as good as everyone else yet he's taunting me with this second chair spot. I have a new crush and his name, *Aleksandr. He's Ukrainian, very attractive, and that's all I know but he's getting my focus off of Mr. Player. I just need to figure out how to talk to him without totally being awkward.
My frienimie  asked me how to approach a guy! That means she respects my craft! Be on the look out for a future blog post called, "The Girl's Guide To: Getting Guys." This will contain all the wonderful information that you need to know about getting a guy. I will have one about dating, playing, etc. too. Infact I'm thinking about writing a novel based on my blog called, "The Girl's Guide."
Not much to say today. Lots of homework to do. Love you all.

Playing Mr. Player

Expensive Turtle Mochas

Guess who just finished her summer homework!? ME! Just a few days shy of the first day of school but I finished and that's all that matters. Anyway I have an update about *Eric. He likes me. Like a lot. He's perfect. He likes all of the same music I do. He is an amazing drummer. He's really attractive and I'm a sucker for guys with curls. He's really sweet. There's only one problem. He's the biggest player ever. He is said to have done this to every girl in our school who is above a 6 which apparently includes me. I was drawn in at first, I'll admit. Attractive, talented, smart (YES! SMART!) guys don't usually like me. Tons of people have told me what he's like well yeah. If he thinks he can play me he is sadly mistaken. *Jamie did that to me and I won't let it happen again. I don't want him to do it again though so I have a plan. I'm going to play him. How? Um well I'm not sure yet! I will play him just like he's played so many other innocent girls. He'll never see it coming. Hopefully after I'm done teaching him a lesson he'll realize how stupid he's being and how much it actually hurts to be played. Although if he doesn't I will have still have knocked his ego down a few pegs which is enough for me.

A few days ago he wanted me to come visit him at work and that he had a surprise for me. I told him that if I had time I would see if I felt like it. So I walked into the coffee shop he worked at with another guy. HA! Anyway I ended up ordering the most expensive thing on the board and it turns out his surprise was buying me my drink. Happy coincidence I guess. My friend left and he and I talked for awhile. Not about anything important. He just told me how pretty I looked and my stupid face turned bright red.

Two days ago I sent him a picture of me in a really formal dress, with my hair done up and everything. I told him I was going downtown with a friend who was taking me to a really fancy restaurant! I asked him if he thought it was too much! HA! The whole night he was texting me. He was telling me that he was jealous and was hoping nothing was going on. I didn't text him till 10 even though I got home at 8, just to put him on edge. I told him I was watching a movie with another male friend of mine and after he texted me a whole lecture on how I was purposely trying to make him jealous I told him the friend I was with was gay to make him feel like a total idiot. 

There is more updates on this story coming. Wish me luck! I'll probably get my stupid self heartbroken but there is the chance that I won't. I guess we'll see what happens and until then I'll keep playing Mr. Player. School starts soon. I'll try to keep blogging but be warned that I'll be distant and I'll post more comments on my google+ page. Like little instant updates that are urgent but I don't have time to blog. 

Toilets and Mission Trips

Sorry about my lack of blogging. Everything has been quite hectic with getting home and all. I can't even tell you how hard it has been to adjust back. I keep wanting to throw my toilet paper in the garbage can. My internals are still adjusting to the foods of home. I literally sat on the toilet the first day home. Everything went fine except the first night when we were swimming I jumped into the shallow end of the pool and got a soft tissue injury. That was fun walking around with that. I had to limp everywhere and when I got back I wasn't able to walk on my foot for ten days. I however saw the doctors order as merely a suggestion and walked anytime my mother and brother weren't around to scold me. The trip was great though. I guess I should start from the beginning:
The People excluding the leaders:

Surviving on Peanut Butter
(Wishing it was in Mocha form)

• Me!
• *Cindy- my best friend
• *Lindy- the flirt
• *Angel- the princess
• *Amy- the girl who is good at everything
• *Dina- the tomboy
• *Tina- the lover
• *Melissa- the quiet one
• *Dajia- the girl with the long arms
• *Tilly- room mate 
• *Jessie- the know it all
• *Michaela- missionary kid 
• *Ross, *Randy and *Rick- the average guys (the clones)
• *Allen- the guy who's nice to everyone
• *Dane- the oddball 
• *Ian- the dream guy
• *Troy- the former football star
• *Joey- the male know it all
• *Justin- the hugger 

We all surprisingly meshed well together. Except *Tilly hated *Lindy because *Lindy kept flirting with Ian. *Angel and *Randy also got in a fight. I started getting annoyed at *Jessie. Other than that everything went well. Oh except we had pancakes every morning... That may sound good until you get to the third day and realize why normal people don't eat pancakes every morning. I'm pretty sure one of the reasons everyone started to get sick was because of all those dang pancakes. *Randy described the sickness as "peeing out of his butt." Which made the rest of us sick to our stomachs. *Dane had to end up skipping zip lining because he got so sick. Some people just ate peanut butter the rest of the trip. If I didn't feel so bad about not eating I would have said screw it and survived the last few days on protein bars and trail mix. Aside from the zip lining, swimming in the pool, swimming in the ocean, shopping, and drinking freshly squeezed watermelon juice for breakfast, we actually did do some good in the villages. We helped out with Vacation Bible School, brought food to families in need and prayed for the people. Some people don't really understand mission trips. They think that we are going there and forcing our religion down peoples' throats. One of these people who thinks that is my mother. Performing skits and laying our hand on people's shoulders while we say random words into the sky may seem like nothing to some people but the people there loved what we did. They were brought to tears, they thanked us, they hugged us. Not to sound all preachy but they taught me something too. The message is a little hard to explain unless you experience it first hand so in more simple terms: Remember to slow down and smile. On the trip we had to learn the phrase, "Just the way I like  it," because well, it was a saying that we had to say a lot. From the cockroaches in the showers, the yellowy whitish brown sheets, and the lizards in our comforters to the geese enclosure right outside our rooms, that saying helped us through it all. Thank goodness it was beautiful there because otherwise the wildlife would have prevented me from coming at all. There was a three legged, one eyed, cat monkey that just roamed around in the hotel lobby! I'm pretty sure we all brought home some kind of species. It's hard to talk about it now that I'm home. It seemed like it went by so fast. I think I'm going to take another trip but this time longer. I'll go to Africa on a medical trip or something. Then I can write a novel about it. I just want to write a novel. I figure that it doesn't matter how suckish my life gets as long as I can turn it into a novel some day.

I'll post more later. I just wanted you to have a little update on my whereabouts. Missed you all. My next post will be about my struggling love life. YAY! Not really. 

Bon Voyage!!

Thank goodness all airports have Starbucks

Tomorrow at 4 am I am leaving for the airport to (insert name of Latin Country here!) So nervous! A whole week without internet, phone service and my love. Yes, I am in love. All consuming, heart pounding, skin tingling, hand sweaty love and he has a girlfriend. I don't think that it's fair. All the guys I am into have girlfriends. This guy and his girlfriend have a ton of good moments and they're really cute together but they have so many unresolved issues. Watching them makes me cringe. Last night at my friend's bonfire there were no single guys except *Jesse and *Alex but they're gay sooo. All the couples were like all over eachother. Kissing and hugging. It made me feel really awkward and alone. I just someone I can hug and someone to dance with. Someone to make food with. Someone who will laugh at my stupid jokes and make even more stupid ones. Someone who will tolerate my love for horror movies and romantic comedies. Someone who will enjoy my over opinionated nature. Someone who I can text all the time. Someone I can call and talk on the phone for hours about absolutely nothing! Someone who wants to get out of the house and do things. Someone who will takes risks with me. Someone who will kidnap garden gnomes with me. (I'll explain that when I get home on August 11th.) I see all these couples and hear their stories and I want that. Yeah, being single is great but I want to secure a boyfriend. Guy friends can't always hang out with you. When they get girlfriends then their girlfriends hate you for hanging out with them so you feel obligated not to do things with them. I want to secure one man friend that I can always have to myself. Someone I can stargaze with, hold hands with, hug really, really tight.
I can't be thinking of love! I'm leaving! I'll miss you all! I can't wait to be helping people. It terrifies me that this time tomorrow I will be in another country, with all new customs, all new foods, all different people. I will keep a journal and post it when I get home. Sorry for the short blog post. Love you.

Apple Trees, Average Guys, And The Pool Boy

A perfect boy with a girlfriend is like an apple. The apple is beautiful, red, and ripe for the picking. No wormholes, no bruises. You're just about to take a bite of this wonderful apple and someone approaches you saying, "Don't eat that! It's covered in pesticides!" As I'm searching for a homecoming date it seems as though all the good guys are taken. Infact I have to spend this Saturday with one of these guys and their girlfriend. Yay. Even people who are super obnoxious and annoying have boyfriends/girlfriends. I suppose to other people I may be annoying too. While I'm searching for a guys who's not annoying should I really be searching for someone who is equally annoying?

Caramel Apple Mocha
(Perfect and totally single)

Why are only popular guys attractive? Why can't for once there actually be a sexy loner who's really smart? Like in the movies. Anytime I'm searching facebook I see all these attractive guys but then I read their facebook posts and I learn a whole bunch of vulgar terms that I've never even heard of before! I've never once walked into my honors classes and said, "Wow, he's good looking." I'm involved in the geekiest clubs at my school so even if I wanted to I don't really have a chance at meeting some vulgar, hot, probably hormonal teenage boy. SO I get to pick from: non attractive, really intelligent and most likely harboring some secret talent for music or some very attractive, (I don't like to use the word stupid but it's the only one that fits) stupid, with some talent for a sport. Why can't I have a semi attractive male, with average intelligence, who actually gets off the computer once in awhile and has at least a liking for music?
I realize I ask a lot more questions than I answer and I apologize. Although no one usually comes to me for advice. They oddly enough just like to listen to my ranting. I've been told that my voice impressions are very entertaining. If someone ever asks me for advice they usually don't want advice they just want me to make them laugh and feel better about their situation.
Does anyone else have those friends where you're trying to like vent all your anger out and they make it about themselves but in a really obvious way? "I've been really down lately about my whole situation with my dad and everything."
"Well my boyfriend implied that I looked fat!"
Anyone have those friends? Am I the only one? Or how about those people that talk to you really slow. "Hiiiiiiiii myyyyyyy naaaaaammmmmeeee issssss *JEN-NA. Diiiiiiiiiiiiid you unnnnnndeerrstand what the teeeachhher wasssss taaaaaallllking abbbbbouttttt?" I'm a blonde not an idiot. I can't decide if they do that to me because I'm blonde or because they think I don't understand English since I choose not to talk to them on any occasion that I don't have too. Why must popular people assume everyone likes them and if you don't like them you're obviously a freak, weirdo, or loner?
I'm trying to hurry with this blog post because the apple I like may be working at the pool today and I don't want to miss him.
My trip to (Insert name of Latin Country here) is coming up soon and all I can think about is the cute way I've devised to ask a boy to homecoming but all the guys I like (including pool boy) are apples. I would call him on the pay phone all romantic like and say, "I knew that the only way I'd be brave enough to ask you to homecoming was if I was more than 1000 miles away." I'm tempted to call one of them and just see what he says. Although their girlfriends may not be too happy with me. Although girls never are very happy with me when it comes to their boyfriends/crushes. I'm not sure what it is but I have a talent for ruining relationships. They really should be blaming the guy. I have a flirtatious personality. People keep telling me that it isn't hard to not be flirty but it is a personality trait and I can't help it. It's like if someone told a teenage boy to stop being hormonal or a comedian to stop being funny. Oh well. I hope it doesn't get me into too much trouble.
Well that's all for today. I need to shave and actually get ready for the day. However I have no where to go and nothing to do but a huge pile of summer homework but I figure me getting reading will put it off the inevitable. Sex And The City Is On today. How can I focus on homework?? This is so unfair! I also eventually have to practice trumpet and piano. Trumpet, piano, and summer homework, and I'm here judging other people's geekiness.

The Word "Gland"

Found this wonderful thing called "Send me a number." I'm too lazy to ask for people to send me a number so I'm going to answer all the questions because I'm slightly bored and this is much fun.
1. The person I love the most is no one. I love too many people equally!
2. My most embarrassing moment? Not sure. I blog about them in like every post. I suggest Sexy Smile Boy and Falling On My Butt, Shae Has No Knickers, and Using The Boys Lavatory and Other disasters. These posts contain most of my most embarrassing moments.
3. The story of my first kiss. Let's see, I was making faces and a boy sitting next to me and he turned around and we kissed. 3rd grade. Does that count?
4. A book or film that changed my life? This Much I Know Is True and Princess Diaries.
5. Five Bands that I like:

Eggnog and Peppermint Mochas
(Another reason winter is my favorite season)

• All American Rejects
• Good Charlotte 
• Forever The Sickest Kids
• Green Day
• Panic At The Disco

6. Favorite foods? Way too many to name. 

7. Ten things on my wish list:

• Jacuzzi tub
• A boyfriend (Have I mentioned that?)
• A homecoming date
• A pool
• A Louis Vuitton
• A mustang
• Flexibility
• More flatbread wraps (stupid brother)
• Talent
• Money (It may not be everything but it's still important in today's society)

8. My favorite childhood memory? I consider myself still a child. My favorite memory is probably making peanut butter bars with my friend. My hand was slightly shaking and graham cracker was flying everywhere. He didn't notice my hand shaking and though the graham cracker had bugs. I laughed so hard I almost peed 

9. Number of people I kissed? A lot. 

10. How many times have I been in love? Not sure. Once that I know of for sure.

11. My biggest insecurity? I'm a gossip. Well obviously. This whole blog is my life gossip!

12. Hobbies I have:

• Swimming
• Does shopping count?
• Cheer (I'm in it for the bows) 
• Yoga
• Blogging
• Reading
• How about eating?
• Flirting? Is that a hobby?

13. My favorite season? I like Winter and Summer. Spring and Fall are wet, gross and usually smell like dead worms.

14. Three things I think about the most:

• My future
• Boys 
• What's next

15. My pet peeves:

• Whiny dogs
• Leggings as pants
• Bad breath
• Dirty jokes
• A clean room with one thing on the floor. All messy or all clean and nothing in between.
• Skirts that ride up
• Tennis shoes worn with skirts
• Too many selfies
• Blue denim shorts
• People playing their music in public places (Headphones, anyone?)
• Double negatives
• The word "gland"
• When people tell blonde jokes. When I don't laugh they think I didn't get it so they explain it real slow, "Get it? Because blondes are dumb." 
• I should probably wrap this up because my list is huge

16. The reason I last cried was because of cramps and because when I complained to my dad he blamed Eve

17. My bad habits:

• Tripping in flats
• Flirting
• Gossiping
• Swearing (I'm better than most)
• Eating too much
• Sleeping too much
• Procrastination
• Reading "dirty" books
• This list is also huge so I'll move on

18. Something I look forward too? My trip to (Insert name of Latin Country here)!

19. Phobias I have:

• Bugs in general
• The dark
• Dead things

20. Five things I want to do before I die (besides the obvious things such as get married, get a house, etc.):

• Get 500 google+ followers (Big dreams, right? Aha)
• Start a world wide campaign 
• Start my own business
• Get a Louis Vuitton  
• Travel to several countries 

21. My last received text message says, "Ew, don't send it." 

22. The last awkward situation I was in occurred today. My skirt was tempted by the wind. In plainer terms, a few people saw my polka dot panties. Grr

23. Least favorite food, drink and color: Shrimp, Milk and Lilac

24. I spend most of my money on chicken sandwiches which is weird because they're only a dollar

25. The last lie I told? I have a boyfriend.

Hmm, that was quite enjoyable. Two blog posts in one night. It's rainy and I'm just sitting here so I figured, why not? Would love to hear your responses to some of these numbers. Message me, leave a comment, whatever or create your own post and attach a link. Good bye, lovelies. 

The Art Of Moving On And Random Lists

I was trying to think of a title that sounded most like a self help book. Although when has there ever been a self help book that actually worked. My crush is over and done. I have this problem, in fact many of us have this problem, where I create scenarios in my head. I imagine this perfect relationship with another person and then when it doesn't go my way I feel all depressed about it and actually end up hating the other person. SSB did nothing wrong but when I saw him laughing and flirting with another girl I felt a twinge of hate. He didn't do anything wrong and here I am staring and them and hating when I could be enjoying myself. It's the last time I'll see him for quite awhile and it dawned on me that there isn't much hope for us. I'm better off a single lady anyway. Not sure why, but I am. Googled him because I'm a stalker.
Apparently he aspires to be a computer programmer and has created multiple games and websites, and here I am blogging to my limited audience.
I'm happy today. Not sure if it was my flat bread pocket filled with spinach leaves and fresh tomato or if it's because I hugged an old friend last night. Maybe it's just because I got to swim today.
My mom made me horrible. There's this guy that I've always kind of been into but he has a girlfriend who's really sweet and he's never shown interest in me anyway so I kind of just put him in the back of my mind but my mother brought him up to me today. She said that if him and I were dating, she would invite him to come on our annual ski vacation. It would be so lovely to have him accompany us. See! I'm terrible! He's in a relationship and I'm sitting here thinking about how wonderful it would be if he wasn't!
My blog post is all over the place today but I figured I should give an update on what I'm doing so you don't think I'm dead. So here's a bunch of lists that I created because I have nothing better to do with my spare time and creating games and websites is not my thing. It's hard to show off to a guy who is already pursuing his career.
Favorite Things To Do (Wonderful for people who have no car and are in need of ideas)

Pumpkin Spice Mocha
(From Jojo's Rise and Wine, my favorite coffee shop to walk to)

• Lay by the pool
• Read
• Go to the coffee shop
• Walk 5 miles to the mall
• Sleep
• *Sex And The City marathons (*Degrassi, Devious Maids and Millionaire Matchmaker also work)
• Blogging
• Reading blogs (Leave your URL)
• Facebook stalking

List Of Things I'll Never Do Again

• Eat while bathing
• Eat while swimming
• Eat while doing Yoga
• Eat while doing my nails
• Eat too much of anything
• Get a pedicure 
• Honors Biology
• Feed dogs too much
• Babysit 
• Kiss a guy first 
• Ask a guy to a dance (Don't care if I never get a dance date again. I felt like I had to be the guy. Buy the ticket, pay for dinner. I didn't, but it's an awkward feeling. Go feminists though)

List Of Things I want

• A boyfriend

Random Facts (Because Knowledge Is Good)

• Donkeys kill more people than plane crashes
• There is such a thing as dying from a broken heart
• The electric chair was invented by a dentist 
• The average American eats about 11.9 pounds of cereal a year
• Non-dairy creamer is flammable 
• You can lead a cow upstairs and not downstairs (so don't bring your cow upstairs)
• There are 293 ways to make a dollar out of change (meaning there are 294 ways to pay for a chicken sandwich with exact change)
• Male bats have the highest homosexuality rate than any other mammal 

A List Of Things That Make Me Happy

• People
• Actual sales
• Free Stuff
• Cheap Shoes
• Boyfriends
• Gentlemen 
• Flavored Water
• Sex And The City
• Random acts of kindness
• Thrift stores

A List Of My Most Recent Embarrassing Moments

• That whole Marilyn Monroe thing where her skirt flies up? Not so glamorous when you're wearing a short skirt and not so cute underwear
• Paying in quarters
• Trying to impress someone and not realizing there's stuff on your face. I can't tell you how many times that happens to me
• Texting and bumping into a tree
• Being honked, whistled at and having my friend flick off the driver. He turned around and we ended up running half a mile
• My dad's road rage
• My dad judging people and having them hear him
• My dad mocking some one's language
• My dad calling everything gay
• My dad not acting his age
• People noticing my slight (apparently not so slight) weight gain
• Naturally making a fool out of myself in front of guys
• Showing up way to early for everything
• Falling on my butt in front of SSB
• Laughing too much and bad times
• Walking the neighbors dog. He started pooping puddles in the lawn of a State Patrol Trooper! I couldn't clean it up because it was a puddle! He glared at me but what could I have done?
• Sneezed in my coffee while drinking coffee in the presence of an attractive coffee boy. Felt obligated to throw the rest of my coffee away because he saw me sneeze in it. Wasted a good Blended Mint Condition Mocha w/ Extra Whip

Well that's my blog post for tonight. Love you all. Hopefully I get rid of this writers block.

Ruby Red Slippers & IPhones

It seems that with aging I only am only given more rules and more responsibility. Everyone is eagerly waiting for their new car, their drivers licence, staying out later, and dating. Well while everyone is getting their new car they also have to get a job to pay for this car and the insurance and the gas. So the money that is made from their job is given to their cars. Am I the only one who finds this tedious and rather annoying? Although it may be because I'm extremely jealous of those who don't have to walk everywhere and get honked/yelled at by random strangers on their way. Since entering high school my mom is working even harder to make sure I am safe. Now I can't even hang out at a guys house unless she calls the parents. What happened to age bringing freedom? I know it's because she cares and not because she doesn't trust me so in no way is this blog post against my mother. In fact, this post is against aging. I wish I could go back to when I was two. Ever since I can remember there's always been some kind of drama in my life:

• Ages 3-4 at daycare it was all about red ruby slippers. If you didn't have Dorthy shoes, then you were singled out as the loser. You also had to have the coolest stuff to play with at "Share and Tell." *Valarie was in possession of said slippers. She also didn't let me or my best friend play with her toys at "Share and Tell."
• Age 4-5 it was all about crayons. I had the 24 set so I was just average. The coolest people had the 64 pack with the sharpener.
• Age 6 you had to have the robotic cat that walked when you pulled on it's leash. I had a stuff cat that I dragged around school with a string wrapped around it's neck. 
• Age 7 was the backpacks. I had a Britney Spears backpack... Well you can imagine how that went down.
• Ages 8-9 was about being funny and having stupid talents. Like having milk come out your eyes or spitting corn in people's hair. 
• Age 10 it was all about singing. Who was the best singer, what singers were popular, etc. I can't sing. 
• Age 11 everyone started getting phones. I didn't get a phone but it didn't matter because I'd have no one to text.
• Ages 12-13 was dating. Beautiful girls were dating twits and morons. It smelled desperate.
• Age 14-15 IPhones. Still have my free phone. Lost a lot of Free Phone Friends.
• Age 16 Cars and Cash.

Zebra Frappuccino
(Atleast I'm on the Fancy Coffee Bandwagon)
 

I was always out of  the loop. Not because I like being a unique individual but because I've always missed the bandwagon or tried to ape up but then fell off. I've always been the weird kid, the odd one out. There's no one I can blame but myself and my mother for not buying me what's "in." What is "in?" anyway? Who chooses what's in and what isn't? Who says who is popular and who isn't? Is it really all about having sparkly red slippers or an IPhone? I don't aspire to be popular, only to understand what it means. 

Status update on SSB: Talked to my guy friend and when I asked if he would still date a girl who fell at his feet and acted awkward around him, he laughed and asked if I fell. He's either extremely shallow or I'll have to work a little harder to obtain SSB. It bothers me how much I like him. Here I am doing regular everyday things and thinking about him constantly even though I know he's probably not thinking the same things. I'm thinking up scenarios of how perfect homecoming and prom would be if he just liked me back and he's probably thinking about guy stuff like cross country, guitar or video games. Rant for the day.

Anyway, that's my post. It's quite rainy. I may post again later.

Sexy Smile Boy and Falling On My Butt

What is love? It's one of the most common questions throughout the ages. It's a word with more definitions than any other word. I'm just not sure what it means yet. Sure I've said it to a all of my boyfriends but that's because they said it first and asking, "What is love?" in a high school relationship to a high school boy is not the best option. Anyway me being super strong (or just entertaining) and all, I was invited to help set up a stage for a concert coming up. Learned how to Daisy Chain and what the heck it meant to Daisy Chain. I'm pretty proud. Also proved stronger than one of the boys although he was in middle school and had the upper body strength of a hamster.
We were being lectured on why we had been invited there today (they claimed it was because we were learning but we all knew that it's easier to hire volunteers than workers that they have to pay) and in walks this 73in tall guy, with brown wavy/curly hair, deep brown eyes (slightly squinty like mine) and a sexy smile followed by *Jerry. *Jerry and I don't like each other in anyway but we tease each other which people usually mistake for flirting. I didn't successfully avoid *Jerry but our teasing was only brief and not when I was in the presence of Sexy Smile boy.
Up until 4:00 I was working hard and only making slight glances at him. I was moving stage pieces, drilling them together, moving boxes, carrying crates, sweating, etc. Then however, *Jerry, Other boy, and Hamster all went out to the garage to start cutting two by fours for the stage and it was just my 22 year old mentor, Sexy Smile boy and myself. I didn't really know if I liked him, I only knew that he was nice to look at.
We worked side by side together for the next hour. It was wonderful. He was so fun to be with. He had a child like playfulness but also had a very mature attitude towards what we were doing. We had to make a line out of tape on the projector screen and he teased me for my OCD for wanting the line to be perfectly straight although after a few minutes of pondering and staring at our semi crooked tape line, he was all for making a perfectly straight line. He and I walked around for awhile looking for a tape measure. (Not really sure why. He was the smart one who wanted a straight line. I was the girl pretending I cared so I could listen to him tease me.)

So that's what love looks like.
Strawberries and Cream Frappuccino 

By 5:00 to of the boys had left, Hamster and Other boy. So it was my mentor, *Jerry, Sexy Smile boy and myself. We had pizza and watched the storm rage outside. After dinner we began to hook up wires. I was stuck putting curtains up around the stage edges first so it was less time spent with Sexy Smile boy. After however he and I were wiring right next to each other and realizing we did everything wrong and starting over again. We didn't ignore *Jerry but it was quite obvious that I was paying much more attention to Sexy Smile boy.
By 7:00 *Jerry was gone. I figured I'd turn on the charm except I couldn't. I was usually so flirty and charming around guys but around SSB (Sexy Smile boy) I couldn't! I kept saying the stupidest things. I would stumble on my words and mumble and oh yeah, I fell on my arse! I fell 1 foot out of the tech booth right on my butt at his feet. My mentor helped me up and I was so in a daze that I didn't look to see if he offered his hand. It wouldn't have mattered though. I had just fallen on my butt. I've walked around school in heels for years and my school has steep ramps! Here I am going around tripping and falling in flat shoes! I've never been the pretty girl, or the smart girl, or the funny girl. All I have to rely on is my flirtatious nature and so far with SSB it hasn't been going well. I don't understand why I'm acting so out of character.
This is why I'm questioning what love is. Or what like is I guess. I don't know much about him other than I like being with him. How am I supposed to know if that qualifies! I keep messing up. I keep thinking I like someone and then realizing that they aren't for me. It just seems different around SSB but that could because I've never embarrassed myself so badly in front of any other guy so often in so little time before. Maybe I just like that he didn't piss himself laughing at me. I guess I don't have to worry though. Girls who make awkward mouth sounds and fall on their butts are not exactly attractive to most guys.
The quest for love continues. Wish me luck as I wish all of you the same.

4 Extroverts Lost In The City

I enjoy the wonderful roller coaster that is my page views. Hello, Lovelies. Now I suppose you are wondering what the problem of 4 extroverted people lost in the city is and what advice you could possible get from this post... Well that's irrelevant, this is my story which could possibly include some advice that's really important for living your life.

Bad Waitress Coffee Shop
One of my favorite big city coffee shops

So you may or may not know that in just a few weeks or so, I will be headed to (insert name of Latin country here) to rebuild houses, pass out food and just in general interact with the people of (insert name of Latin country here) To prep us for going we had to visit a culturally diverse neighborhood, eat at an international market and ride the bus while talking to random strangers about their lives. Now I already come from a very diverse suburban area with a very diverse school so it wasn't exactly an adventure for me. However, the other people on our trip, not so much. They saw a person with dreadlocks and gasped. It was rather annoying traveling with so many people who apparently have never seen a homeless person or never smelled a person who hasn't bathed in a week. Now I can't blame them for growing up in the cushioned environment that they did but what I can blame them for is being so rude. Non of the people we saw stood out to me as odd but even our leaders were saying things like, "Now this looks nothing like our home of (insert name of heavily white populated area here) but remember different does not mean wrong." I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. We haven't even left the country yet and people don't even know what the city is like!
A girl in another group, *Sarah, was waiting for the bus with us. She began conversing with a man about his life. He asked her how old she was and she replied with 16. He started screaming, "GET OUT OF THIS F**CKING BUSINESS AS FAST AS YOU CAN! ONCE YOU'RE IN YOU'LL NEVER GET OUT! YOU'RE SO YOUNG!" The man apparently thought she was a prostitute.
My group consisted of two college students, *Lizzy and *Ron, and two juniors, *Jane and I. We were all very extroverted. We all figured that we were right. I knew I was right but whatever.
The food was wonderful. You can't go wrong with handmade cream cheese wantons and chicken Thai Pad. Well unless your *Lizzy of course. Now with American foods Spicy is not deadly. Spicy in American food is the equivalent of Mild in Thai food. Mild is playing it safe, Medium is getting risky and Spicy is like if you could put Hell inside your mouth. I being the bland German ordered Mild. *Lizzy who has obviously never had Thai food before ordered Spicy. The cook and I exchanged glances and I think I saw him smirk. I was enjoying my food while practicing using chopsticks and *Lizzy... Well she was crying, sweating and wiping snot from her nose! She was turning pink! It took every once in my body not to fall off my chair laughing. I was suppressing my laughter so much I spit on *Ron. He was too preoccupied with *Lizzy's tomato face to notice though. *Jane and I continued to enjoy our food and smile at one another.
Then came the bus ride. The part that most of the people were dreading. We were told before we went out that we had to respect other people's culture or they wouldn't listen to us. (We also learned about the "Squatty Potty." Yay.) The man who was speaking to us used to live on the Gaza Strip in India so naturally we figured he had some good advice for us. However, he was also strongly Lutheran (Unnaturally) so the only thing I remember him saying was, "There were so many Hindu sculptures! Even though I just wanted to kick them over and bash them, I knew in doing so I wouldn't be able to spread the message of Christ." I looked over at the other's and they seemed to find that this was a totally normal statement. I didn't understand! How can you listen to a man who just totally denounced a whole religion!?! We all follow our religions based on faith so how can he claim that Christianity is better? (I'm an Episcopalian, Christian and even I find that statement truly aggravating.)
Anyway enough ranting. Back to my story. So non of us grabbed a map because we all figured someone else did. So we spent like 30 minutes trying to figure that out. We were told to get on bus 6. Now I knew where bus 6 would pick us up because the city is my place and because I'm usually right. Yet no one would listen to me. (I didn't even judge their religion or anything!) We ended up getting on bus 3 because we had to get to *White Water Mall which they thought was the same thing as *White Water Ave. Everyone on the bus had ear buds in so I awkwardly sat their playing with my fingernails and listening to the conversation that *Lizzy was having with and Nigerian Woman behind me. *Lizzy told me she didn't understand anything the woman was saying and thought she mentioned something about racism. She said nothing about racism but I'll give *Lizzy and A for Effort. We got off the bus at *White Water Ave and surprisingly, (not really) it had no relation to *White Water Mall. So *Ron, suggested we board bus 5. I suggested we go back and get on the right bus but apparently being a college student makes you more superior. Again everyone had headphones or ear buds so spent my time just observing. Like noticing the bus driver wore no bra and the woman next to me had two rings on her ring finger. We got off the bus and after walking down multiple streets found *White Water Mall. I knew this place because my DECA state competition was here. We had to find 11th street to catch a train. (I knew where that was.) They walked up and down the streets trying to find 11th street. *Lizzy complained that the streets went 7th to 14th. I almost cried. I was getting really stressed. The others seemed so laid back and relaxed and there I was seconds from tearing my hair out of my head. I tried to laugh at their jokes but as soon as I did they stopped laughing and it was just awkward. So then they figured we should just find our way back. We then proceeded to board bus 7 even though we needed to be looking for bus 21. *Ron pointed out that we were going in the wrong direction abut 15 minutes later so we got off the bus. Now we were about an hour walking distance away from the market and, oh yeah, it started to pour and hail and I, being always right, wore flip flops. "Your feet look like they're in so much pain," Yes, yes they are. Thanks for stating the obvious *Lizzy. So we walked back. They were deeply involved in their conversation about college and I was the 4th person on a 3 person side walk. My clothes became 2 pounds heavier and my pants wouldn't stay up anymore. I was miserable and worried we wouldn't get back in time. They remained calm and didn't even mention the fact that I was right and they were wrong. We arrived in time, just as I was about to start tearing up.
I suppose my advice for this post is to just relax. Worrying does nothing. Also if you've never been to the city and the person you are with has, listen to them no matter how right you think you are.
My wonderful best friend started blogging. He's much more deep and sophisticated than I am. His wonderful witty tales (which are all true) of love and heartbreak will have you eagerly waiting for his next post. Check him out at thenewgaykingalex.blogspot.org. Until next time, my friends.

The Quest For Love Just Became 30 Requirements Harder

Another rainy, depressing, cramp filled day. I should get out more.. I've taken on the life of a true blogger. So lets begin. Now some of us may be single, and some of are in a relationship but one thing we have in common is the bonding over stupid things guys say. So enjoy as together we reminisce in all of the stupid lines we've heard over and over again and soon grow tired of hearing. To all my guy followers: Listen up and never say these things.

• Well you're cute TO ME

That's great but we already know that we're cute/beautiful/pretty etc to you. We want to be pretty to everyone! Tell us we are cute, then stop there. Quit while you're ahead.

• You deserve better than me
• It's not you, it's me

I'm grouping these in the same category. If you stop liking a girl and don't want to date her anymore tell her. No one buys these over used lines anymore. You just seem cowardly.

• You should send me a pic

No.

• You're not fat, you're curvy
• You could always diet
• You're squishy

I call these accidental burns. You may not think that you're being rude but you are. Yes, the girl mind is a very complex thing. Tell her she isn't fat no matter how many time she says she is. Never agree.

• It's up to you

If she asks you what you want to do it's because she doesn't know. 

• Can I kiss you?

KISS HER! Spontaneity is adorable. Asking just makes it awkward no matter how cute it looks in the movies. 

• Any kind of baby talk

Talk about really not cute. I don't even want to go into this one. Act your age is all I can say because baby talk isn't sexy.

• Are you on your period?

I shouldn't even need to explain this one. 

Since I tons of these I'm going to post more eventually. I've really been into the topic of relationships lately. I'm not sure why. It must be all the the sappy movies that are out. I've been reading so many romances lately. I really hope I don't set too high of expectations for a boy because then I'll never find one. My list for guys is actually increasing instead of decreasing!! 

Cupcake Frappuccino
Because I have yet to find a man who can bake

• He must smell normal
• He must care about his hair
• He must care about what he wears
• I want him to bring my roses and chocolate for me for no reason
• He can't be too possessive
• He must let me brag and complain
• He must visit me when I'm sick
• An accent is always nice but not required
• He must have a sense of humor
• He must not be controlling
• He must be able to deal with me
• He must be dominant and submissive and mold to whatever I'm not
• He must brag about me to his friends
• He must not try to one up me
• He must admit when I'm better at him then something
• He must stay physically active. He doesn't have to have the best body (all though that is much appreciated) but I need him to be healthy
• He must be able to cook or bake
• He must have a passion
• He needs to have goals
• He needs to have ambition
• He must enjoy music 
• He can have hobbies but he can't put his hobbies before me
• No one word or short phrased texts
• He must be able to follow me in conversation and speak with proper grammar (or at the very least not speak using slang and vulgar terms)
• I prefer if his acne was barely visible
• He doesn't have to be totally smart but he needs to try in school 
• He needs to use chap stick 
• His friends must not disrespect me
• He must be trustworthy
• He must trust me

How will I find this man? No idea but that's not going to stop me. I will have my summer romance! Just keep these tips in mind for your hot summer:

• Wear sunscreen. Tomato is not a good color and sunscreen won't prevent tanning
• There is such thing as too much skin
• Sand can be really uncomfortable 
• Beware tan lines
• Friends are more important than flings

As you can see, I've been in a list mood lately. Blog soon. Continue to post comments and links to your blogs!

-Shae

How To Be A "Good Girl" :First Installment

Hello my beautiful readers,
Goodness I've had no time to blog. I'm in literally every extra curricular at school and I'm in every honor's class but now it's summer!! It is also raining so I have nothing better to do. So I posted on how to be a good girl before so some of this will be repeat advice but you'll need it all the same. I figure I'll be learning many more things throughout the rest of my high school career so I'm going to make many more installments. So to begin:
How to be a good girl at school:
1. Teachers hear and see everything. When you say something that you wouldn't want a teacher to hear they telepathically tell everyone else to shut up so they can hear you embarrass yourself by saying something totally vulgar or gross
2. The best way to fight back to someone who is threatening you is to let them attack you. If they are in your face and want to beat you, just stand there. They usually don't punch idle people. It's pointless and will get them into quite a bit of trouble. Plus you'll seem like a total bad ass for just standing there
3.The nicer you are to teachers the more they let you slip up on homework
4. Don't ask stupid questions. This includes but it not limited to:

• When will we ever use this in life?
• I wasn't here yesterday. Did you do anything important?
• Why do we have to learn this?
• Do we need our book tomorrow?
• Can we go outside?
• How much work will we have in this class?
• Is this going to be on the test?
• Can we use notes on our test?
• Can we watch a movie?

5. The one who gossips to you, gossips about you
6. STOP THE PDA! A hug and a peck on the lips doesn't bother me but you shouldn't be sucking each others' tongues in the hall way. How romantic is that anyway? Like awwwh cuuute your first kiss happened in the stair well as apposed to in the snow, rain or on a beautiful romantic beach somewhere. LIKE HELLO? Don't create a ritual of making out in school. I can't even begin to explain how bored you'll get of each other. Kissing should bring butterflies. That's why unplanned pregnancies and genital warts happen! Everyone gets so damn bored of just making out so they go all "Sexy, Can I?" on everyone
7. If you wear reveling clothes don't be surprised that guys use you for your body. People will roll their eyes when you say, "I just want a guy who doesn't use me only for my body!" Then stop marketing it, Sweetie
8. Use heels with discretion
9. Stop the constant swearing. Believe it or not it doesn't make you look cute. If you swear once in awhile, that's cool but if you say "F**k" in every sentence it just makes you look trashy. A classy man wants a classy woman and a trashy man wants a trashy woman
10. Actually do well in school. Where the hell do you think you all are going to end up? If you don't get good grades, you wont make good money and you'll be living on the street. How cute will doing drugs, partying and having sex look then?
11. Make friends. The only way someone can be a loner is if they let themselves be. It's quite a bit easier than you may think. Just don't judge someone... even if they have pom poms... it doesn't mean they don't have souls
12. The first amendment doesn't exist in school because we are minors and anything that may disrupt learning, safety, etc can and will get you into major trouble. Don't go saying it's your "right" because it isn't
13. If they make you change your clothes deal with it. Yeah, it's your money, your body etc but it's school and their rules, deal. Petition all you want, it will change nothing.
How to be a good girl at home:
1. Parents always win. Accept your punishment even it seems unjust. If you fight you'll just make it worse
2. If they won't let you wear what you want change at school
3. Just clean your room. You don't want creepy insects nesting in your room. Just ask my brother. It happens.
4. If your mother doesn't like one of your friends, it's for good reason. Complaining won't make your mother like them
5. Don't sneak out. Just don't. You're not as clever as you think
6. One day you'll learn that your parents aren't against you. They always have your best interest in mind
7. It takes along time to build trust and seconds to destroy it
8. Never hide anything in your room
9. Don't get sloppy with hiding things. If you've successfully hidden something for a long time you'll tend to get sloppy. Be careful
Being a good girlfriend of a high schooler:
1. Don't buy him anything that isn't edible
2. Don't let him buy you anything that isn't edible or won't die (I can't tell you how many necklaces I have that I can't wear)
3. Never discuss video games (If you do he'll never stop)
4. Don't talk about him to his friends
5. Don't control what he eats
6. Watch yourself when you talk to guys. He may mistake this for flirting
7. Never make relationships statuses or post billions of pictures if you with him. Breaking up and having to delete everything is effort that you don't need to add to your busy schedule
8. Don't tell him what to do
9. Don't try to help him in school or try to coax him into doing better in school
10. Never brag
11. Don't complain
12. Don't discuss political views
13. Don't discuss religious views
14. Treat him like he's the only guy in the world
15. If he treats you like his bitch, this is normal
16. Don't you dare get jealous!
17. Don't get mad at him if he becomes jealous
18. Don't ask him why he didn't text you back or call you back
19. Don't be clingy
20. If you judge yourself he'll agree because he probably won't be smart enough to form opinions for himself (sad but true)
21. Don't ask him if your dress makes you look fat. There's only a 20% chance he'll say what you want to hear
22. Never tease him in front of his friends
23. Don't burp, fart or sweat near him
24. Let him say he loves you first
25. Don't dress to impress him. If you wanted to impress a boy with how you dressed just go nude
26. If you must send nudes DON'T PUT YOUR FACE IN IT! If you don't you can always deny it
27. Don't mean to be a total parent but sex doesn't equal love
28. Make sure you smell pretty
29. Remember now it's not all about you. You are with someone who has feelings, emotions and a life all his/her own. It's no longer all about you. Make sure to ask them how they're doing. Learn their fake smiles. Learn what makes him laugh and what makes him smile. Visit him when he's sick. Tell him he looks attractive. Relationships are a part of growing up

I'll post more installments and blog posts soon. This week is looking pretty rainy. Bye, my beauties.

Dieting, Forts and Mother's Day

So if you've read my recent post than you know that just a few weeks ago my boyfriend and I broke up. He started talking to me again, though. I figure if he fell in love with me once, that he can fall in love with me again... Or at least that's what I'm hoping.
Anyway I recently starting dieting. Notice: Dieting contains the word "die." I began with what my mother called a "fat flush." You eat nothing but apples and drink water with lemon juice. I didn't understand the flush part until halfway through honors biology. Hmm... that was interesting. It's not that I think I'm all that fat, I just know that I'm eating unhealthy foods in large portions so the fat flush was to clean out toxins. Today was Alfredo. Why? Why one of the most unhealthy of all pastas?? I was sitting there smelling the wonderful scent of Alfredo while eating a salad! I can't tell you how much I'm wanting to build a fort, grab a bag of pretzels, turn on Degrassi, and not emerge until Summer.
I'm a little behind on collecting money for my mission trip... In fact $1,200 behind. Oh well, God will provide? I want to become a DECA officer. My mom laughed and said if I couldn't raise $1,500 that there was no way I'd be able to fund raise enough money to support our chapter. She's usually right though. Sometimes almost too right.
She told me that my fat flush would cause my body to react negatively. I just laughed... My friends were over and she told me that my butt was flat and not to blame her because she got it from her mother. When I date the guy who obsessed with fish, she told me he looked homely. I was singing to the radio and she told me that I was way out of tune. She couldn't believe it when my band teacher told her I was pretty good at singing. She later corrected herself and told me that I didn't suck, I just shouldn't strive for a career as a singer (If I sang my own song and it didn't have back up vocals, or a band and it was acceptable to have a male who hasn't hit puberty's voice, I could totally become a singer.) She told me that if I let guys do things for me that they would start to like me. How was I supposed to believe that?? It was also very true. I'm just glad she didn't tell me the truth about my artwork in elementary school, which by the way, is still proudly hanging on the walls of my old elementary school. She can say whatever she wants, I got that thing framed! Ha!
She is quite wonderful. Except that time when we were at the State Fair and she started talking to a cow that just gave birth. Or that one time when we were camping, I told her to pull her shirt down and she mooned my friend and I. Or when she tells my Asian friends about our "Asian Drawer." My last boyfriend was Asian... Or all of the times she teases me when my boyfriends are over. Or when she... Well I could literally go on forever.
Other than all of those things, my mother is wonderful. I hear about some kids' relationships with their parents and I'm happy to say that mine and my mother's is really strong. I tell her everything eventually. I don't feel awkward telling her about things that are going on with my personal life and I really like that. Like if I all of a sudden have to poop in honors biology I feel totally okay with telling her that. Although I'm probably not going to just randomly bring it up.
I love my mom more than anyone on the planet so it's hard to pick out presents for her. She says she doesn't want anything... THAT DOESN'T HELP ME! I'll probably make her omelets or something. Mother's day is so stressful. I wish it was on the same day as her birthday. What am I talking about buying gifts for?? I have no money.
My mother also laughed when I told her I could get this boy back. I will prove her wrong!

Butterflies Are Real and So Is True Love

Me falling in love is so breaking my rules of surviving high school, but I did. He was the most wonderful guy I had ever met. He didn't smoke, or drink or do drugs which in my school is almost impossible to find. He didn't have some weird fetish and wasn't a sex addict. He's a wonderful musician. I felt like crying every time he played piano. His art was amazing. He's at the top of all of his classes. Oh and did I mention he looks like he stepped out of a Twilight novel <3 He would come over to my house and watch movies with me. Sometimes I would cook or bake for him while he played the piano. Every time he came over I would have some kind of food for him to take home to his family. However, he was a very (I don't mean to insult any religious people, I am a Christian myself.) Christian boy. A Lutheran at that. I hope to one day meet a sane Lutheran because I haven't yet (I have so many stories about my almost step moms but those are for another time.) He was going to a church camp for a few days and for some reason I knew something bad would happen. He came back on what my friend calls a "Jesus High." He no longer wanted to be with me because I accepted homosexual marriage... Yes, you read that correctly. I told him that I accepted his beliefs but he did not want to accept mine. He told me that we couldn't be together because our beliefs were to different. Now at first I figured he was totally bullshitting me because he didn't want to date me anymore but apparently he called up his friend and cried for hours. Boy tears are my kryptonite. I'm hoping whoever I end up with is a silent crier who is okay with letting his feelings out through hugging. This post isn't about him though. I miss him but I know high school relationships never last which is why today I'm going to talk about my oldest ones up until my most recent horrible situation. Oh boys...

• *Devon- So I don't really consider him a boyfriend. I was in junior high so it was more of a "Hey, you like me. Let's date." Don't get me wrong, he was a total sweetie but he was obsessed with fish. Not a little bit. A lot. He would go fishing every weekend. I feel bad that I almost died of boredom listening to him talk about his fishing trips. He would go on, and on, and on about bass. He ended up moving so breaking things off was easy. I think he preferred his fish to me anyway.
• *Simon- Nice things to say about him............... I don't think there is any. I don't even want to go into details about how he used me. He didn't tell me had a girlfriend until after he kissed me. Then he asked me to homecoming and cancelled last minute (well technically his mom cancelled on me last minute. She texted me telling me that she wanted Simon and I to remain friends because she found me to be too immature. Obviously she doesn't know her son but I just wanted it to be over so I didn't argue with her. He wasn't exactly my dream man...or any one's dream man to be completely honest.)
• *Zig- There are no words to describe Zig. He's the most complex person I've ever met. He acts like he's very into himself yet he also has a problem with self harm. Or maybe he doesn't anymore. He has tons of people who follow him around and talk to him yet he considers himself a loner. He's tried every drug out there yet he is a devoted Christian child and don't even get me started on his porn and sex addiction. He only liked me because Simon liked me. In fact he continues to like me every time I'm in a relationship with some other guy. He's quite intelligent and speaking to him is like talking to a dictionary with legs. We would never work though because he's only attracted to me when I'm in a relationship and that really doesn't work. I like more of a simple guy anyway.
• *Tim- I've never met a person so dedicated to being a Republican. That's it. That's all I got.
• *Leo- I met him when I was in marching band. Yes, I know how unbelievably nerdy that sounds, which is probably one of the reasons things never worked out for us. I'm smart I just wasn't nerdy smart. I probably just wasn't his type. We liked each other and he sent me texts about how I saved him from suicide. Which I find somewhat sweet, I guess. He told me he was too busy for a girlfriend so we never dated. We just kind of were with each other, kissed each other and he told me that he loved me a few times. I'm just bothered by the fact that as soon as we stopped talking he started dating some underclassman. So much for being too busy for a girlfriend.
• *Axel- He was a good kisser...
• *Skylar- So Skylar happened to be Leo's best friend so you may have an idea of how this ended up. I like to try not to think it was my fault. I never liked Skylar but he liked me, a lot. Like way too much. When he found out that Leo and I had a think he shot himself in the hand with an air soft gun, multiple times. Apparently those things hurt. He began to smoke pot and Leo and him no longer speak. I know that it was probably bound to happen anyway but I can't help feeling like an instigator. Skylar isn't that banged up about it anymore considering he's very popular among the stoner chicks.
• *Jim (I'm running out of names of boys. I'm trying not to use names of boys that I actually know.)- He followed me around like a puppy dog. We did whatever I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do it. I wanted Chinese food, we had Chinese food. I wanted a $60 necklace, he bought me it. We were in a play together and I don't know I guess I sort of liked him. So I kissed him and we started dating. I didn't realize what he was like until we started dating. It was okay at first, I mean who doesn't love getting everything they want. It got boring though. It felt like I was dating a brick wall with a wallet. I knew that things weren't working between us but he kept writing love songs and love letters and I couldn't just end things...until he farted during our make out session and forgot who I was (I'm really not joking sadly. One day I was feeling quite lazy so I didn't straighten my hair and just decided to wear a sweatshirt. I was talking to my friend and he came up to her and asked her where I was. MY HAIR WASN'T STRAIGHTENED! I DIDN'T MORPH INTO A GORILLA! The worst part was that he wasn't joking.) After that I told him how we just shouldn't date. because he was moving. He was just switching schools, but hey, it worked. He broke up with me and then showed up at my cheer practice with a ton of roses but things were over by then. I had already gone back to liking Zig.
• [Insert story of wonderful but stupid Christian boy here]

From now on these boys are recent and the stories are occurring right at this moment.

• *Jamie- Talk about dream bodies. He has toned biceps, strong pecs and a set of 8 pack abs. However he is a little bit of a player so I'm deciding what would be the safest move. He bought me a rose and chocolate but I'm still not convinced. He's an amazing dancer and he's one of the few boys I know who can cook. If he's just been hugging another girl and then he comes over to me I don't let him touch me. I want him to know that if he wants to date me he's going to have to prove it to me. I'm no one's bitch. I can't help but like him though. He carries me to class and.... Nope! I'm just going to stop thinking about it.
• *Drew- I don't think I've ever messed up in a relationship as badly as I did with Drew. We were friends when We were in junior high but he was a 9th grader and I was an 8th grader so we kind of lost touch but this year we began talking again. It all happened so fast. I needed a ride home from school because I decided to wear heels and forgot my other friend had a massage appointment after school so Drew offered to take me home. He had lacrosse so we figured we get Subway and just hang out for awhile until he had to go home. We joked around with each other just like in junior high. It was so great to have a guy that I could just be friends with and just be myself around. When I got sick he would bring me flowers and chocolate. He would sing to me. He was the only guy whoever had the guts to sing with me.We talked about failed relationships because he and I just recently got out of relationships that really stung. He hinted that he liked me but I just brushed it off and pretended he never said anything. He started driving me to school in the mornings and taking me out to coffee. I went to a few of his games but only because the sexy rugby players were one field away. I never noticed that he was really starting to like me until he kissed me. We have so much in common and I feel like I can tell him anything but (and I know this is going to sound super stupid) I didn't feel any butterflies. I told the girls at my table and they laughed so hard they pissed. I KNOW THERE ARE BUTTERFLIES WHEN YOU REALLY LIKE SOMEONE! I'VE FELT THEM BEFORE! I just don't feel connected to him. When we kiss it's just lips. Just someone pressing their face up against mine. Nothing more. He saw me with Jamie and began to threaten him. He started to call me a flooze and an ass and a bitch and as crazy as they all say (whoever "they" is) and a slut and a child. He told me that my relationships never work out because I'm horrible. He apologized and told me he just said those things out of anger but...sometimes it feels real. He got mad at me because I told him that I wasn't at home or work because I was mentoring so he couldn't come over and talk...and then he showed up at my work. So he was pissed at me for lying. I had gotten rid of him until I started to feel bad so I apologized and now he likes me again... I honestly have no idea why guys like me. I didn't sit there and flirt with him. Apparently confiding in your friend who is male counts as flirting.

So that's my wonderful experiences with males. This is why I don't date and hate dating. High school relationships bother me. Love shouldn't be about give and take. Love should be finding someone that you don't feel like you have to settle for. Why can't God just tell me who my soul mate is!?! I can't stand waiting. And just so you all know, butterflies are real and so is true love because I felt both and I know I will find both again and I don't care how stupid it is that I have to kiss someone to know if I feel anything. I believe love is a emotional and physical thing. Wish me luck. SOUL MATE, I'M COMING FOR YOU! (Please smell nice, please smell nice, please smell nice.)