SHAE HAS NO KNICKERS!

 I can't seem to think of any embarrassing moments today... I figured today I could give you a little bit more information about me as a person. First of all I can't tell you what I look like, sorry. Anyway, I'm going into 10th grade. I'm not very excited since this will be my first year of high school and our school is in the shape of an "I", if an "I" had a billion different branches coming off of it and a trillion different classes. You either get a huge locker that's so big you'll fill it with nothing but useless trash or so small you can't put anything into it. I've always hated school. I try to make the best of it but you know...

• In 3rd grade I got sent to the naughty table and I wasn't excused so I started crying because I thought I was just going to be left there
• In kindergarten I didn't know I actually had to pay for the milk so I just took it. I got sent to the principals office for stealing
• In 2nd grade I didn't know what the word penis meant and some kid showed me it in the dictionary but didn't bother to inform me what the description meant. Later when another girl was looking in the dictionary I asked her if she had found "Penis" in it.
• In Daycare I had a friend names *Alice. *Alice and I were inseparable. One day I didn't put on underwear because my mom didn't lay any out for me. All I had on was a dress. I told *Alice, thinking that since she was my best friend I could trust her. She then grabbed the back of my dress, dragged me around the whole playground showing my exposed bottom and yelling "*SHAE HAS NO KNICKERS!" at the top of her lungs
• In Kindergarten we had safety patrols who took us to our classroom in the morning so we wouldn't get lost or get beat up by the 6th graders. It was my second day of school and my first day getting taken to class by a patrol. We had to wait in a line until the bell rang and then we would be escorted to class. No one in line was from my class so I started crying because I thought my class had already left me. It started as a few tears and then I full on bawled. The patrol was turning red in the face and was trying to calm me down. People started watching and I cried harder and started screaming. The patrol grabbed my hand and walked me to class. I wiped my eyes and ran in.
• In second grade I knew nothing about swearing or slang terms. A boy asked me if I wanted to play a game and I knowing nothing said yes. It happened to be a game to make me stick my middle finger up. I didn't understand how it was funny so I raised it and waved it above my head. The lunch lady grabbed my wrist and made me explain myself to the principal
• In 7th grade I accidentally scratched a girl named *Jessie in flashlight tag. She freaked out because I didn't apologize and then told the whole 7th grade that I was a spaz and lesbian with my best friend *Marissa. For months people taunted me until I got a boyfriend
• In 6th grade I only had two friends: *Angie and *Suze. I admired *Suze. She was really cool and strong. We played a truth or dare game at recess and she dared me to sit on the baby swing screaming "I'm a retard!" I did.
• In 5th grade I became best friends with a popular girl. She had come camping with us and I was really excited to show her how cool I was and that I was popular material. We were walking back from the park and my mom biked past us. Her pants were hanging low and I yelled to her to pull them up. She thought I said down... She mooned us and *Lisa, the popular girl told everyone but the janitor what she did
• In Kindergarten I had this enemy named *Sigman. *Sigman smelled like fish guts and was rounded like a watermelon with legs. *Sigman didn't like me. He would always color on my coloring books and one time he stabbed me with a spork... it hurt.
• In 4th grade I was making faces to the boy sitting next to me and he turned around while I was making a duck face and we kissed. People still haven't forgotten
• In 8th grade I wore my shirts really low and boys at my lunch table tried to throw peas and grapes down them
• In kindergarten I was playing with my friend *Simon (he always dumped his macaroni on my head.) We were playing with the horses and I hit him with it. My horse was rubber so I didn't think it would hurt him but he got pissed and threw his horse (made of hard plastic) at me and I had to go to the nurse
• In daycare we had nap time and during then I found a watermelon seed on the floor and I stuck it in my mouth. I, being a 4 year old, put random stuff in my mouth. I swallowed it and started screaming that a watermelon was growing inside of me. They told me not to worry but I remained paranoid for the next couple years
• In 4th grade we had a party on the last day of school. We were to bike to the Humane Society and Dairy Queen but know one believed that I was deathly afraid of bikes. Halfway through the trip my face turned red, I started breathing funny and I started crying
• I had my 5th grade band concert one night and I couldn't find my shoes so I threw on my mom's chunky black heels. they were really tall and my pants were a little bit to short. I found out that I had to the intro. I tripped and knocked over the microphone and my dad has it on film. The next day our school TV station had included a "random" segment from the concert the night before
• I asked out a popular boy out on Facebook in 6th grade and he and his friends teased me for a whole semester before *Suze threatened to hurt them