How to Be a Good Highschool Girlfriend: First Change Your Whole Life

How do you stand out with out being a freak? One day I left my hair curly and wore a pink sweatshirt. It was a new pink sweatshirt so I guess I looked sort of different. Apparently I looked so damn different that my boyfriend (now ex) forgot who I was. He wasn't joking... He walked up to me and friend and asked my friend "Where's your blonde friend?" HE WASN'T JOKING! I was standing right in front of him. We made eye contact. I asked one of my closest friends about it and he laughed for 5 minutes straight. It's hard to date a guy who forgets what you look like. I guess I've had the worst experiences with guys. It's like Selena Gomez curling her hair. YOU STILL KNOW IT'S SELENA. My girl scout leader, soccer coach, swim coach, softball coach, and volleyball coach never learned my name. Because of cheerleading I'm not aloud to dye my hair any weird colors. Which I guess is fine with me since I'd never do that anyway. It's hard to stand out. There are so many other blonde girls out there. Anyway talking about standing out is not what I want to do today because I have no advice for you. None. Sorry. I want to be able to help people survive but I can't. Honestly, my best advice right now is to blend in, smile, get good grades and avoid anyone with the name of the mean girl in your dreams (she's usually mean in real life too.) I wanted to talk about you. Well not you, you, but more specifically how to be a good girl in all situations.

1. In School:

• Remember teachers hear and see everything
• If you decide to wear revealing clothing to school make sure you look good. Those guys who keep looking and smiling at you might be making fun of you
• Be super nice to all of your teachers so if you don't do your homework they'll let it slip. You don't have to be a teacher's pet but you can say hello to them everyday
• Never kiss, hug, or have sex anywhere near school because they will call your parents and describe in colorful detail exactly what you were doing
• Never say anything behind any ones back and never gossip. The person you are gossiping about will find out and the next day you could find out that you secretly have butt pimples

   2. At Home:

• Remember parents always win. It's useless to fight with them. Accept the punishment and deal because if you piss them off your punishment will be a lot worse
• If they won't let you wear what you want don't push it. Bring the clothes you really want to wear in your backpack and change at school. This goes for makeup and piercings too
• Always clean your room. It sucks but even if you don't have food in there little rats can nest in the corners and you'll never know. My brother can tell you from first hand experience
• If one of your chores is to clean the bathroom, CLEAN IT. I went to my friends house for a sleepover and  she had poop on the side of her toilet. WHO POOPS THERE? Gross
• Never hide anything in your room. Your parents will find it
• Never do anything you don't want your parents to find out about because they usually will... unless you are very talented... unlike me  

   3. Being a Girlfriend of a High schooler

• Don't buy him anything, ever
• Never accept gifts that aren't edible or won't die
• Never let him talk about video games (if you do he'll never stop)
• Don't talk about him to his friends
• Don't control what he eats
• Don't flirt with his friends
• Don't take pictures of him
• Never make statuses about your relationship because then when you break up you have to delete them all and it takes for ever
• Don't tell him what do do
• Don't try to help him do better in school
• Never brag
• Don't complain
• Don't discuss things you really like because you don't want him putting them down
• Don't discuss political views
• Don't discuss religious views
• Treat him like he's the only guy you'll ever love
• If he treats you like your his bitch, this is normal
• Never cook him something. He will insult it because he's trying to be funny
• Never ask him if your fat
• Never ask him his opinion on anything
• Don't ask him what he wants to do tell him what he's going to do
• Never tease him in front of his friends
• Don't burp, fart or sweat near him
• Never tell him you love him unless he tells you first
• If he does tell you he's loves you and you don't know if you love him back say you do anyway unless you want a huge fight

Being a girlfriend sucks sometimes. It's the price you chose to pay. Good luck