...Bacon Flavored Anything

Went shopping yesterday for a dress to wear to a wedding. I decided to give a few tips on shopping since that's what friends do. My shopping experiences are always terrible. I have at least ten pairs of shoes in my locker that I can't squeeze my feet into. I'm going to the wedding in a dress that happens to be see through. Wish me luck. Hopefully I won't meet the love of my life or have my picture taken. Okay so honestly I couldn't care less but my dad is so sure that someone will happen to take a picture of my panty line. My mom refuses to buy me a slip which I'm fine with because they're tight and sweaty. Hopefully the wedding is exciting enough to blog about but the only thing I'm really excited for is the chocolate fountain.
Here is a list of things to NEVER buy:

• Bacon flavored anything
• 2 in 1 anything
• Macaroni lip balm
• Bump its
• Anything from a store with "Barn" in the name
• Fake silver or cheap metals
• Anything designed in France and made in China (Bad combo)
• Cheap Mascara
• Sally Hanson Stick on Nails
• Cheap Heels
• Slip ons because crotches are fine, slip ons are so old fashioned and uncomfortable
• V-necks (low cut is fine but v-necks totally give the saggy boob look)
• Expensive underwear
• Clothing on the Internet
• Wool sweaters
• Expensive tank tops
• Anything from Victoria Secret unless you are showing them off (just buy panties at Macy's)
• Teeth whiteners
• Anything from infomercials
• Shirts with weird sayings (they might seem funny.. they're not..sorry)
• Big t-shirts to turn into dresses (buy a dress)
• Blazers with shoulder pads

And here are my tips for shopping:

• Buying something more expensive means paying for better quality (EXCEPT SUNGLASSES)
• Shoes on the Internet will never be the right size
• Never wear anything already used before you wash it
• Thrift Stores are never a bad place to turn to. Vintage is very chic
• Buy cotton one size bigger because it will shrink
• Always try on things first
• Don't buy anything that won't fit into your wardrobe otherwise you have to buy a whole new outfit
• Never buy a dress one day before you need it
• Don't buy things that you don't have a place to wear them
• Wait a week, if you don't totally need it, you'll find it on clearance next week
• Just because something is on clearance doesn't mean it's not cute

Hope my shopping tips help. Comment your tips or I might always show my panty line everywhere I go. Please help.